Full Tilt Poker Mac - metabonuscasino.com

I'll cut off my dick for the ability to use a regulated site. (Shit post FYI)

*Its been a few months.. and it's about that time that I make a shit post where I bitch about everything*

To all my fellow US players getting fucked in the ass per usual... WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO TO USE A HONEST POKER SITE!?

It's 2021 and it has been almost a decade since I have been able to use a worthy-poker-site such as Full Tilt, Stars, 888, Party Poker, and so on. I am starting to fall out of love with poker because I can't keep playing on these bullshit sites located in Panama and throughout the Caribbean. Here are a couple of my experiences from the past 8-ish months or so.

ACWPN/BCP:
- 2 to 4 months ago I received 2 PARTIAL refunds due to bots being at my table, in which one scenario was a final table. Didn't even get a full fucking refund. This also doesn't mention the other partial refunds I received earlier in 2020.
- As you all well know, ACR has had multiple scandals going back to 2012, like the the 2018-2019 PLO/NL cash game bots and several people colluding together to take advantage of the late reg glitch. Nagy can eat a fat dick.
- If you play at America's Cardroom in 2021 you're a fucking retard. (No offence)

Betonline/BOL:
- 6 months ago Betonline removed $1000 from my poker balance on my account and said that the money was transferred to my sportsbook balance at 4am PST and all of it was spent in the online casino. When I asked them to investigate they did nothing. So I asked their Fraud/IT Department to send me a list of all devices, MAC addresses, and IP addresses that signed into my account that day... They refused to cooperate... Customer service said it was against company policy to release that type of information, even though its MY OWN fucking account and personal information. ( I took a break from the site but eventually returned because US players have no options and I love MTTs.)
- 2 months ago I deposited $50 of ETH to their sports book to bet on an NFL game. Blockchain.com confirmed that BOL's Etheruem address received my money, and I even sent customer service proof of the transaction THREE TIMES. They still refuse to issue me my $50 deposit to this day, stating "our system says the deposit is still pending".
- 2 days ago I received a $5 refund from a Windfall Sit n Go because the 2 other two players at my table were bots :) :) :) I should just kill myself at this point. WHO THE FUCK HAS BOTS AT THE JACK POT SIT N GO.

Bovada/Ignition:
- Honestly, I haven't used them in like a year or two because they removed the chat box, make it a pain to utilize HUD software, and that fucking update they did to their software. That huge software update was so fucking horrible the sites damn near unplayable. I'm sure you guys remember the old canvas/layout that Bovada/Iggy use to utilize, it was way better.

Anyways, I just don't know what to do anymore. I NEVER had any of these issues back in the Full Tilt days. I don't even want to play half the time because I'm sick of all the bullshit. I am also in Los Angeles, CA so the lockdown bullshit makes live poker a huge pain in the ass. Some casinos are open, some are closed, some are outside, some make you wear mask and sit in between plastic dividers, some allow you to order drinks but not food. It's all fucking stupid. I really want to use my VPN but I don't want to build up a bankroll on a legit site like PartyPoker and then have my funds frozen. Maybe I should just hang myself instead. (joking, just being a dramatic pussy)

On a serious note, thank you for listening to me bitch and moan about my first world problems. I hope ya'll are happy, healthy and staying covid-free. Cheers to 2021, MAY THE POKER GODS BE IN YOUR FAVOR!
submitted by ArizonaJesus69 to poker [link] [comments]

Online Poker Provides Wonderful Gambling Experience

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submitted by Ozone21337 to nsarangkiucominfo [link] [comments]

Collecting California brewery bottle caps...where can I find more?

I am trying to collect bottle caps from as many CA-based based breweries as possible...I think I've bought all the individual ones currently available on eBay. Looking for recommendations on where I might be able to find more, whether for individual sale or in bulk. I even have a list of the breweries I'm still missing. I lived in CA for several years where my collection began. I'm trying to get bottle caps from 61 different breweries to fill a wooden map of CA. Currently I have 25.
I've posted in CaliforniaBeer as well, just looking for whatever recommendations are out there.

Edit: Breweries I am currently looking for listed below

• 21st Amendment Brewery in San Leandro • Ale Industries in Oakland • Altamont Beer Works in Livermore • Buffalo Bill's Brewery in Hayward • Cleophus Quealy Beer Company in San Leandro • Diving Dog Brewhouse in Oakland • Drake's Brewing Company in San Leandro • Eight Bridges Brewing Company in Livermore • Faction Brewing in Alameda • Fieldwork Brewing Company in Berkeley • Hoi Polloi Brewpub and Beat Lounge in Berkeley • JP DasBrew in Fremont • Oakland United Beerworks (formerly Linden Street Brewery) in Oakland • Old Kan Beer & Co. in Oakland • The Rare Barrel in Berkeley • Shadow Puppet Brewing Company in Livermore • Triple Rock Brewery and Alehouse in Berkeley • Trumer Brauerei in Berkeley • Woods Bar & Brewery in Oakland • Working Man Brewing Company in Livermore 
Amador County
• Amador Brewing Company in Plymouth • Butte County • Sierra Nevada Brewing Company headquarters in Chico • Eckert Malting and Brewing in Chico • Feather Falls Casino Brewing Company in Oroville • Feather River Brewing Company in Magalia • NorCal Brewing in Chico • Secret Trail Brewing in Chico 
Contra Costa County
• Calicraft in Walnut Creek • Danville Brewing Company in Danville • E.J. Phair Brewing Company in Pittsburg • Farm Creek Brewing Company in Walnut Creek • Elevation 66 Brewing Company in El Cerrito • Schubros Brewery in San Ramon • Epidemic Ales in Concord • Ocean View Brew Works in Albany 
El Dorado County
• The Brewery at Lake Tahoe in South Lake Tahoe • Cold Water Brewery and Grill in South Lake Tahoe • Cool Beerwerks in Cool • El Dorado Brewing Company in Diamond Springs • Gold Hill Winery and Brewery in Placerville • HWY 50 Brewery in Camino • Jack Russell Farm Brewery in Camino • Lake Tahoe AleWorX in South Lake Tahoe • Mraz Brewing Company in El Dorado Hills • Outbreak Brewing Company in Placerville • Outpost Brewing Company in South Lake Tahoe • Placerville Brewing Company in Placerville • Sidellis Lake Tahoe in South Lake Tahoe • Solid Ground Brewing in Diamond Springs • South Lake Brewing Company in South Lake Tahoe • Stash Brewing Co. in Garden Valley • Stateline Brewery and Restaurant in South Lake Tahoe 
Fresno County
• The Mad Duck Craft Brewery in Fresno • Fresno Brewing Company in Fresno • Full Circle Brewing in Fresno • Pine & Palm Brewing in Fresno • Tactical OPS Brewing in Fresno • Tioga–Sequoia Brewing Company in Fresno 
Humboldt County
• Eel River Brewing Company in Fortuna • Redwood Curtain Brewing Company in Arcata • Six Rivers Brewery in McKinleyville 
Inyo County
• Mountain Rambler Brewery in Bishop 
Kern County
• Crusader Brewing in Bakersfield • Dionysus Brewing Company in Bakersfield • Great Change Brewing in Bakersfield • Kern River Brewing Company in Kernville • Lengthwise Brewing in Bakersfield • Local Craft Beer in Tehachapi • Temblor Brewing Company in Bakersfield 
Kings County
• Bird Street Brewing in Lemoore • Hop Forged Brewing Company in Hanford 
Lake County
Los Angeles County
Madera County
• South Gate Brewing Company in Oakhurst 
Marin County
• Adobe Creek Brewing in Novato • Indian Valley Brewing in Novato • Iron Springs Pub & Brewery in Fairfax • Marin Brewing in Larkspur • Moylan's Brewery in Novato • Pond Farm Brewing in San Rafael • The State Room in San Rafael 
Mariposa County
• Yosemite Ale Werks in Mariposa 
Merced County
• Bobcat Brewing Company in Merced 
Mono County
• Mammoth Brewing Company in Mammoth Lakes • June Lake Brewing in June Lake 
Monterey County
• Alvarado Street Brewery in Monterey • Cannery Row Brewing Company in Monterey • English Ales in Marina • Peter B's Brew Pub in Monterey • Yeast of Eden in Carmel 
Napa County
• Calistoga Inn, Restaurant and Brewing in Calistoga • Downtown Joe's Brewery in Napa • Mad Fritz in St. Helena • Napa Smith Brewery in Napa • St. Clair Brown in Napa • Tannery Bend Beerworks in Napa • Trade Brewing in Napa 
Nevada County
• FiftyFifty Brewing Company in Truckee • Nevada Brewery in Nevada City • Ol' Republic Brewery in Nevada City • Tahoe Mountain Brewing Company in Truckee • Three Forks Bakery & Brewing Company in Nevada City 
Orange County
• Anaheim Brewery in Anaheim • Barley Forge Brewing Company in Costa Mesa • Brewing Reserve of California in Costa Mesa • Bootlegger's Brewery in Fullerton and Costa Mes • Bottle Logic Brewing, Anaheim • Cismontane Brewing Company in Santa Ana • The Good Beer Company in Santa Ana • Green Cheek Beer Company in Orange • Gunwhale Ales in Costa Mesa • Laguna Beach Beer Company in Rancho Santa Margarita and Laguna Beach • Left d Brewing Company in San Clemente and Irvine • Network Brewery in Santa Ana • Noble Ale Works in Anaheim • Old Orange Brewing Company in Orange • Riip Beer Company in Huntington Beach • TAPS Brewery & Barrel Room in Tustin • Tustin Brewing Company in Tustin • Valiant Brewing Company in Orange 
Placer County
• Auburn Alehouse in Auburn • Boneshaker Public House and Community Brewery in Rocklin • Crooked Lane Brewing Company in Auburn • GoatHouse Brewing Company in Lincoln • Knee Deep Brewing Company in Auburn • Loomis Basin Brewing Company in Loomis • Moksa Brewing in Rocklin • Moonraker Brewing Company in Auburn • Out of Bounds Brewing Company in Rocklin • Slice Beer Company in Lincoln • The Monk's Cellar in Roseville 
Plumas County
• The Brewing Lair of the Sierra (formerly UnderCover Ale Works) • Waganupa Brewing in Chester • Quintopia Brewing Co in Quincy 
Riverside County
• Aftershock Brewing Company in Temecula • Area 51 Craft Brewery in Riverside • Babe's BBQ & Brewhouse in Rancho Mirage • Black Market Brewing Company in Temecula • Brew Rebellion in Banning • Brewcaipa Brewing in Yucaipa • Coachella Valley Brewing in Thousand Palms • Desert Beer Company in Palm Desert • Electric Brewing Company in Murrieta • Grey Wolf in Norco • Inland Empire Brewing Company in Riverside • Ironfire Brewing Company in Temecula • La Quinta Brewing in Palm Desert • Las Palmas Brewing in Palm Springs • Refuge Brewery in Temecula • Wiens Brewing Company in Temecula • Woody's Brewhouse in Moreno Valley 
Sacramento County
• Alaro Brewing in Sacramento • At Ease Brewing in Sacramento • Big Sexy Brewing in Sacramento • Big Stump Brew Co. in Sacramento • Burning Barrel Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Claimstake Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Delta Borne Brewing in Sacramento • Device Brewing Company in Sacramento • Dreaming Dog Brewery in Elk Grove • Flatland Brewing in Elk Grove • Fort Rock Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Fountainhead Brewing in Sacramento • Hoppy Brewing Co in Sacramento • King Cong Brewing Company in Sacramento • New Glory Craft Brewery in Sacramento • New Helvetia Brewing in Sacramento • Oak Park Brewing in Sacramento • Palm Tree Brewing Company in Orangevale • Porchlight Brewing in Sacramento • Red Bus Brewing in Folsom • River Rock Brewery in Galt • Sacrament Brewing in Sacramento • Tower Brewing in Sacramento • Track 7 Brewing Company in Sacramento • Tilted Mash Brewing in Elk Grove • Urban Roots Brewing in Sacramento 
San Bernardino County
• 3 Iron Brewing Co. in Colton • Brewcaipa in Yucaipa • Desert Barn Brewery in Hesperia • Escape Craft Brewery in Redlands • Hangar 24 Craft Brewery in Redlands • I & I Brewing in Chino • Kings Brewing in Rancho Cucamonga • Oak Hills Brewing Company in Hesperia • Ritual Brewing Co. in Redlands • Rowdy's Brew Co. in Rancho Cucamonga • Sour Cellars in Rancho Cucamonga 
San Francisco City and County
• 21st Amendment Brewery • Barrel Head Brewhouse • Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant • Black Sands Brewery • Black Hammer Brewing • Cellarmaker Brewing Company • Cervezería de MateVeza • Eagle Brewery • Enterprise Brewery • Fort Point Beer Company • Golden City Brewery • Hamm's Brewer • Harmonic Brewing • Hibernia Brewery • Laughing Monk Brewing • Lafayette Brewery • Local Brewing Company • Magnolia Brewing Company • Schuster's Railroad Brewery • Seven Stills • Southern Pacific Brewing • Speakeasy Ales and Lagers • Sunset Reservoir Brewing Company • Thirsty Bear Brewing Company • Triple Voodoo Brewing • Washington Brewery • Willow's Brewery 
San Joaquin County
• Dancing Fox Winery and Brewery in Lodi • Five Window Beer Company in Lodi • High Water Brewing Company in Lodi • Idol Beer Works in Lodi • Lodi Beer Company in Lodi • Morgan Territory Brewing in Tracy 
San Luis Obispo County
• 927 Beer Company in Cambria • BarrelHouse Brewing Co. in Paso Robles • Libertine Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo • Tap It Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo 
San Mateo County
• 47 Hills Brewing in South San Francisco • Alpha Acid Brewing Company in Belmont • Armstrong Brewing Company in South San Francisco • Blue Oak Brewing Company in San Carlos • Devil's Canyon Brewing Company in Belmont • Freewheel Brewing Company in Redwood City • Half Moon Bay Brewing Company in Princeton-by-the-Sea • Highway 1 Brewing in Pescadero • Hop Dogma Brewing in El Granada • Sacrilege Brewery + Kitchen in Half Moon Bay 
Santa Barbara County
• Captain Fatty's Brewery in Goleta • Island Brewing Company in Carpinteria • M. Special Brewing Company in Goleta • Pure Order Brewing Company in Santa Barbara • Solvang Brewing Company in Solvang • Telegraph Brewing Company in Santa Barbara 
Santa Clara County
• Clandestine Brewing in San Jose • El Toro Brewing Company in Morgan Hill • Gordon Biersch Brewing Company in San Jose • Hermitage Brewing Company in San Jose • Kelly Brewing in Morgan Hill 
Santa Cruz County
• Discretion Brewing in Soquel • Humble Sea Brewing Company in Santa Cruz • New Bohemia Brewing Company in Capitola • Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing in Santa Cruz • Sante Adairius Rustic Ales in Capitola • Seabright Brewery in Santa Cruz • Steel Bonnet Brewing Company in Scotts Valley • Uncommon Brewers in Santa Cruz 
Shasta County
• Fall River Brewing Co. in Fall River Mills • Wildcard Brewing in Redding • Final Draft Brewing in Redding • Woody's Brewing Co. in Redding 
Siskiyou County
• Dunsmuir Brewery Works in Dunsmuir • Etna Brewing Company in Etna • Mt. Shasta Brewing Company in Weed • Siskiyou Brew Works 
Solano Countu
• Heretic Brewing Company in Fairfield • Right Eye Brewery in Suisun • Mare Island Brewing Company in Vallejo 
Sonoma County
• Carneros Brewing Company in Sonoma • Fog Belt Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Moonlight Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Old Redwood Brewing Company in Windsor • Petaluma Hills Brewing Company in Petaluma • Seismic Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Sonoma Springs Brewing Company in Sonoma • St. Florian's Brewery in Windsor • Stumptown Brewery in Guerneville • Third Street Aleworks in Santa Rosa 
Stanislaus County
• St. Stan's Brewery in Modesto • Blaker Brewing in Ceres 
Ventura County
• Anacapa Brewing in Ventura • Casa Agria Specialty Ales in Ventura • Enegren Brewing Co. in Moorpark • Flat Fish Brewing Company in Camarillo • Institution Ale Co. in Camarillo • Leashless Brewing Co. in Ventura • MadeWest Brewing in Ventura • Poseidon Brewing Company in Ventura • Red Tandem Brewery in Ventura • Surf Brewery in Ventura • Topa Topa Brewing Company in Ventura • Ventura Coast Brew Co. in Ventura • Westlake Brewing Co. in Westlake Village 
Yolo County
• Bike Dog Brewing Company in West Sacramento • Dunloe Brewing in Davis • Jackrabbit Brewing Company in West Sacramento • Super Owl Brewing in Davis • Three Mile Brewing Company in Davis • Yolo Brewing in West Sacramento 
San Diego County
• Burgeon Beer Company • Carlsbad Brewing Company • Pizza Port • Rouleur Brewing Company • Offbeat Brewing Co • Nickel Beer Company • Bagby Beer Company • Legacy Brewing Company • Breakwater Brewing Co • Oceanside Ale Works • ChuckAlek Independent Brewers • Abnormal Beer Company • Acoustic Ales Brewing Experiment • Align Brewing • Amplified Aleworks • The Beer Company • Deft Brewing • Division 23 Brewing • Duck Foot Brewing Company • Eppig Brewing • Fall Brewing • Kilowatt Brewing • Little Miss Brewing • Longship Brewery • Mike Hess Brewing Co. • Mikkeller • Mission Brewery • Modern Times Beer • New English Brewing Co. • North Park Beer Company • O'Sullivan Brother's Brewing • Pacific Beach Alehouse • Pariah Brewing Company • Protector Brewing • Rip Current Brewing • Rough Draft Brewing Company • Saint Archer Brewing • San Diego Brewing Company • Savagewood • Societe Brewing Company • Thorn Street Brewery • Thunderhawk Alements • Lost Abbey • Port Brewing Company • Rip Current Brewing Company • Stumblefoot Brewing Company • Wild Barrel Brewing Company • Aztec Brewing Company • Barrel Harbor Brewing • Belching Beaver Brewery • Booze Brothers Brewing Company • Indian Joe Brewing Company • Latitude 33 Brewing • Mother Earth Brew Co. • Toolbox Brewing 
Culture Brewing Co
submitted by Charlie--Dont--Surf to beer [link] [comments]

"Humor. It is a difficult concept"; or, Comedy and Star Trek

The announcement of a new animated comedy Star Trek series has prompted me to think about Star Trek’s history with comedy.
The go-to line is that Star Trek has never been that good at comedy. And, to be sure, there are quite a few clunkers that come to mind when Star Trek tried to do a “comedy episode”.
But when we dig a bit deeper, we are reminded of episodes that, while they might not have been deliberately written as “comedy episodes,” still turned out to be quite funny. More often than not, this was when the writers set out not to write comedy but simply to write something fun or light. This extends further when we examine episodes that have the standard A/B plot structure, where the B plot is decidedly less heavy than the A.
It’s informative, I think, to consider that the episodes that make us laugh still make us think and still have drama, even high-stakes drama, of their own. Drama and comedy need not be mutually exclusive.
Here below I’ve begun to catalog cases where Star Trek tried to be or succeeded at being funny. (And yes, this ended up being much longer than I imagined at the outset.)
Do you agree with the entries on this list? What else should be on it? (I admit that it is biased toward TNG and DS9.) Which of these count as “comedy”?
EDITed one week later, adding suggested episodes from comments-- the added suggestions are clearly marked, and the rest of the post is unchanged
Star Trek: The Original Series
Episode Commentary
“I, Mudd” Suggested by cgo_12345 and by them well-summarized: “…and by the end the landing party is doing a full blown dada improv set to make the main android's head explode.”
“The Trouble With Tribbles” Judging TOS episodes can be a bit tricky because we are now so far removed from their original cultural context. There are quite a few other episodes of TOS which are now unintentionally funny for various reasons, but I believe “The Trouble With Tribbles” is the only one that really intended to be funny. Certainly I think it has aged very well.
“A Piece of the Action” Suggested by malfourmed and others. A classic example, if not the proper originator, of the “hijinks” episode. The “fizzbin” scene, Kirk and Spock in gangster clothing, Spock uttering the word “youse”.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Episode Commentary
“The Big Goodbye” Not intended, I suspect, to be “comedy” but definitely intended to be “light”, a chance for us to see Picard with his “hair let down,” no pun intended. I’m not sure it really works as a “fun” episode, though it definitely sets a nice precedent for a number of themes throughout TNG: how fun it is to see Captain Picard in an alter ego, Data as the universe’s hapless straightman, and holograms questioning their own existence.
“Elementary, Dear Data” Likewise, we are led to believe early on that this will be a “light” episode, and it definitely is good fun seeing Data and Geordi dressed up in Victorian attire and Data throwing himself into the role with enthusiasm. But, intentionally or not, this episode definitely crosses the line into “heavy” territory almost exactly once Pulaski gets involved. I think it actually becomes a more compelling story because of it, but there is still a marked tone shift halfway through.
“The Outrageous Okona” The namesake plot is rather forgettable and probably doesn’t quite rise to the level of being funny, but also doesn’t quite have enough oomph to be extremely compelling drama otherwise. Much more notable, however, is the B plot in which Data tries to be funny. In a bit of perhaps unintentional meta-commentary on Star Trek in general, Data finds that when he tries to be funny, it is unsatisfying, but that he still can be humorous just by being himself.
“Manhunt” Lwaxana Troi returns and inaugurates a TNG tradition: make the audience laugh by making Jean-Luc uncomfortable. This episode is, I believe, aiming for “farce”, which certainly is a valid path toward humor. In this particular case, however, I think the humor sadly relies too much not on Jean-Luc’s discomfort but on mocking Lwaxana. As obnoxious as we find her, Lwaxana Troi really is a tragic character and this episode feels a bit mean in its treatment of her. (There’s also a bit of gender stereotyping that I don’t feel qualified to evaluate, but definitely seems questionable.) Ultimately, this episode requires us to laugh at Lwaxana, as opposed to laughing at the situation, and that makes it less fun.
“Deja Q” This is when the writers realized that Q could be funny, and could bring out the funny side of our principal characters. All the same, it’s a very Trekkian episode, with lots of commentary on the human condition— from the gross (Q despairing that he became unconscious — “You fell asleep,” Picard says dismissively) to the subtle (Q recognizing Data’s sacrifice for him). When else has Star Trek made us think about how very strange it is that we involuntarily become unconscious every 12 hours or so? And yet there is plenty for us to laugh out loud at: Worf, explaining how Q could convince them he’s mortal: “Die.”; Guinan’s “Seems human enough to me,” after stabbing him with a fork; the faces of literally everyone on the bridge when Q appears with a mariachi band.
“Captain’s Holiday” This episode continues the tradition of making Picard uncomfortable. Unlike Lwaxana, though, Picard actually finds Vash inexplicably compelling. Their relationship is more coequal, and that lets us, as the viewers, enjoy the humorous aspects without guilt.
“Hollow Pursuits” Barclay, TNG’s first “imperfect human,” is clearly intended to make us laugh, even if we know we are not “supposed” to. Barclay gets the dignity of a relatively sympathetic portrayal, so we don’t feel too bad about laughing, which, combined with the happy ending, with the main cast learning to accept Barclay as he is, makes for a successful “light” episode (even if it’s not a particularly amazing episode otherwise). And we get some funny moments along the way— Picard’s blunderous use of “Mr. Broccoli”, the Three Musketeers waving their swords, Riker’s holographic double being just a little shorter than in real-life. The humor complements the drama of the episode, but isn’t the end goal of the episode itself; the humor is a means to an end, not an end unto itself (unlike some of Star Trek’s “intentional comedy episodes”).
“Data’s Day” To be sure, this is not an effort at a “comedy episode.” And it does deal with some serious drama— the back-and-forth over the wedding, the apparent death of T’Pel, the confrontation with the Romulans, the tender scene Picard has at the end with the Juarez’ baby. But it also has some of the most fun of the whole series, primarily through the understated comedy of Data’s hapless existence. Informing Miles of the “good news” that Keiko has canceled the wedding. Learning to tap dance from Crusher and then thanking her that he is now ready to dance at the wedding. “Chasing an untamed ornithoid without cause.” It is hard not to grin while watching this one.
“Qpid” Reintroducing the two of three most chaotic elements of Picard’s life — in this case, Q and Vash — leads to our esteemed captain spending most of the first two acts in embarrassed awkward discomfort, to an extent we’ve never seen before. This is perhaps the rare intentional “comedy episode” that doesn’t entirely blow up in the writers’ faces. But part of how it works is by having the humor derive from the very mundane situation Picard finds himself in the first half— stricken with embarrassment at having his personal life exposed to his crew. There’s nothing unrealistic here, which is fine, since sometimes real-life is funny. That stands in contrast to the second half, which clearly aims for the humor of the absurd and I think succeeds well as a farce.
“In Theory” Another hapless Data episode. This one is more tragicomic than some others on this list because it ultimately has a sad ending to its comedic storyline. Nonetheless, in the vein of both “Data’s Day” and “Deja Q”, we are treated to an examination of the human condition that frequently makes us smile throughout the episode.
“Time’s Arrow” Suggested by Nofrillsoculus as an excellent example (and possibly the sole example) of a light two-parter. In my view, as a "serious" episode with "serious" stakes, its tone never quite seemed right. But, if relieved of that burden, there really is a lot that is goofy in here, and I now suspect intentionally so: the framing plot with Data’s head is almost a form of macabre slapstick, Data and the rest of the crew doing the fish-out-of-water routine in the past, and, of course, Mark Twain.
“Rascals” I’m not sure what doesn’t quite work about this episode, but something doesn’t. Perhaps it was not written to be a comedy, but the director decided to film it that way. At least for me, not too much of the episode actually “feels” funny, even though I’m pretty sure someone intended for it to be. For example, Miles and Keiko discussing the future of their marriage— that should have been funny, but between the fact that pedophilia generally isn’t that funny and the fact that the O’Briens’ arguments often come across as too contentious to be funny (that’s worth a post on its own— some other time), the scene fails to put a smile on our face.
“A Fistful of Datas” I doubt this was intended as a comedy episode, but I think it merits inclusion on this list. For one, the opening scene with Picard getting interrupted again and again simply is funny. Not uproarious, but still funny. There are plenty of other funny moments throughout the episode: Worf’s “Yes, err, Counselor Durango” and “I’m beginning to see the appeal of this program!”, Data’s “Vamoose, you little varmint” and “You just sit tight. We’ll have this all fixed up in time for supper.” And the juxtaposition of Worf, Alexander, Troi and Data with the “Ancient West” is humorous in its own right. For my part, I think this episode would’ve been more successful if it had leaned more into the absurdity of the plot, as “Qpid” did— as it stands, I find that it doesn’t quite coalesce as well as it might.
“Sub Rosa” Suggested by deusextibia as a case of “so-bad-it’s-good”. Generally I decided to exclude such episodes from this list because they generally are a different kind of episode from start to finish. But this episode is interesting because it was intended — not to be a comedy — but to be a straight-up romance (and maybe a bit of horror as well). Star Trek rarely goes for dedicated romance episodes, and, in that way, this episode is almost certainly a “lighter” outing. Whether it’s worth including on this list is debatable, but I’m trying to err on the side of inclusion.
(A parenthetical note— I think it is not insignificant that the rest of Season 6 and all of Season 7 lack any episodes that I would consider adding to this list. From here on out, it’s almost without exception heavy episodes. Even the appearance of Lwaxana— usually a harbinger of an attempted light story— is instead a tragic story about the death of a child. Makes you wonder if Season 7 would be better seen if it had had even just one “fun” episode.)
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Episode Commentary
“Q-Less” This one should be funny. And it does have its moments— most importantly, “You hit me! Picard never hit me,” which ultimately makes the rest of the episode worthwhile as it sets Sisko up among our pantheon of heroes while also carving out his own place among them. Ultimately, though, while Q makes us laugh, no one else does. It’s almost feels like the crew of Deep Space Nine just don’t get the joke. The problem, of course, is that Q and Vash work as characters by putting other characters out of their comfort zones; but, so early in the series, the main characters here do not have well-established comfort zones. So the effect is watered down. I suspect if this episode had come in Season 2, it would’ve been funnier. (And, indeed, when Vash makes her appearances in the Millennium novel trilogy, she does work quite well at putting other characters out of their comfort zone — especially Jake — and is thus much more effective.)
“The Forsaken” A classic case of a serious primary plot(s) and a humorous secondary plot, a structure that DS9 repeatedly used to good effect. The C-plot “The Ambassadors of Unhappy” are a classic example of how Star Trek can set up a funny story that still is believable and meant to be taken seriously. In terms of execution, this particular example may not be the best, but the concept is sound. Likewise, the B-plot starts off humorous, with Odo taking the role Picard played as Lwaxana’s hapless “target.” At first, it’s the same song and dance as we saw in TNG, and you worry it’ll be boring. But then they introduce a new twist, where Lwaxana and Odo get trapped with each other, each the polar opposite of each other— that never quite happened in TNG, particularly with the two characters put on such equal footing. And, about halfway through, that plot shifts in tone to become more serious and emotional, with both Lwaxana and Odo becoming vulnerable in ways we haven’t previously seen.
“The House of Quark” The Ferengi episodes obviously are a primary source of DS9’s comedic material, for better and worse. For my money, though, this episode is the first time that the writers did not try to pair the humor with more serious content: “The Nagus” is funny, but also deals with the perils of power and the drama of sibling rivalry; “Rules of Acquisition” is funny, but also deals with sexism and love and of course the Dominion. “The House of Quark,” though, really is just funny. Quark (and Rom) get ensnared in a situation totally of their own making and flounder about as they try to escape. The stakes feel just high enough for it be interesting, the characters go through growth and learning experiences as they struggle outside of their comfort zone, and, most importantly, the episode doesn’t exist solely for the purpose of delivering the punchlines.
“Fascination” The rare case of a non-Ferengi episode that was clearly meant to be funny and which, in my opinion, “works”. Interestingly, Lwaxana as a character is not the primary driver of the humor here. (Yes, her Zanthi fever is the MacGuffin that makes it all happen, but that’s just a plot device that happens to be easily applied to her.) This episode’s lighting and music contribute to a mood that is largely unprecedented in Star Trek, in terms of aiming to be “over the top.” Reading the Memory Alpha article on this episode is fascinating (no pun intended) because it’s clear that the people behind the scenes either love or hate this episode, which I think is reflected in fan opinion, as well.
“Prophet Motive” The Prophets open Zek’s eyes to a world beyond greed and Quark convinces them to close them again. We get to watch poor Quark see his world turned upside down. Given that Quark is a bit of an anti-hero, we feel fine about putting him through some angst like this. In the end, no harm is done, and we’re rewarded with Quark incredulously asking his brother, “You embezzled money? From the Nagus??”, and Rom’s gleeful reply: “Surpriiiiiiise.”
“Little Green Men” Odo harassing Quark, and occasionally the reverse, is one of DS9’s consistent sources of humor and levity. I think this episode captures this dynamic at its height, even though Odo is absent for a large part of the episode. Again, Quark is used to humorously critique aspects of real-world society in a Trekkian fashion that by now is so familiar that we don’t even notice it. Moreover, this episode may be the first to realize that one way to be funny in Star Trek is to send your characters on what I would call “hijinks”— stick Quark, Rom and Nog together on a ship, and a misbegotten adventure will ensue. DS9 will return to this method several times, both with and without the Ferengi.
“Our Man Bashir” In this case, it is around the Bashir-Garak pairing that hijinks ensue. Like “Qpid”’s second half, this episode works because it leans into its absurdity. It’s also helped by the fact that it actively satirizes another franchise. It’s funny seeing Bashir play spy, it’s funny watching Garak’s horror at the same, and it’s funny seeing Captain Sisko as a James Bond villain. Plus other moments along the way— case in point, the misadventures of Odo, Eddington, Rom and Quark as they try to fix everything. “Uhhhhh it’s behind the spatula,” “O’Brien’s gonna kill me,” and so forth.
“Body Parts” This episode perhaps doesn’t belong on this list, because I would not call it a “light” episode, in aim nor execution. But there is definitely a strain of dark comedy here, as Quark grasps with the absurdity of having to kill himself in order to fulfill a contract. His sequences with Garak in the holosuite may not be laugh-out-loud funny, but they are definitely funny in their own right, as is his dream sequence with “Gint”.
“Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places” A sequel to “The House of Quark” in story and to “Fascination” in spirit. Par’Mach is in the air and misbegotten ventures ensue. The humor of a Ferengi episode is infused with the dramatics of a Klingon episode, with a bit of Cyrano de Bergerac injected for good measure. Like “Fascination,” this episode decides what it will focus on and then goes there, full throttle. And all is well that ends well, so this qualifies as a well-executed “light” episode. Plus, it moves the Dax/Worf romance along speedily, which sets the stage for a pairing that rivals Quark/Odo for its comedic potential.
“Trials and Tribble-ations” I would say this episode is more “fun” than “funny,” though there are many funny moments herein. More importantly, this is another case of DS9’s “hijinks”, of the crew getting thrown together into a vaguely absurd situation and having to find their way out. It has the feeling of a caper à la Ocean’s Eleven. By no rights should the crew be able to get out of this mess unscathed, but they do and we love it.
“Ferengi Love Songs” Another episode that starts off humorous, then becomes serious, before ending on a happy note. Much of the humor derives from poor Quark’s misfortune. The Nagus is sleeping with his mother and he still can’t get his business license back. Life can be so unfair! But then the episode turns to real drama, and there is less humor. But the levity returns by the end, rising primarily out of seeing the happy couple reunited again.
“In the Cards” Jake and Nog try to get a baseball card; hijinks ensue. What initially seems like a simple task gradually snowballs into the absurd. Each consecutive roadblock, as well the very fact that roadblocks keep cropping up, contributes to the humor of the episode, as does the buddy dynamic of Jake and Nog. I don’t think this was intended as a “comedy” episode, but it works very well as one.
“The Magnificent Ferengi” Quark and Rom try to rescue their mother from the Dominion; hijinks ensue. Likewise, six Ferengi crowd into one ship; hijinks ensue.
“Who Mourns for Morn?” DS9’s most absurd episode, and I mean that literally: this is the closest DS9 comes to breaking the fourth wall. It has shades of “The House of Quark” to it, in that Quark gets sucked into a situation over his head and just barely manages to escape. Really, it’s amazing that they managed to get a whole episode out of the running shtick that Morn never shuts up but never speaks on-screen. Generally speaking, the line is toed pretty well, but there are a couple of moments (Worf’s mention of Morn as a sparring partner, for one) that do seem to take it just a little too far.
“Profit and Lace” Hoo boy. While I personally believe that there are some positives to this episode that are frequently overlooked (especially the scene where Quark and Ishka argue until she has a heart attack — that is not comedy but that is honest family drama), this is the rare episode of Star Trek that really crosses the line into being “problematic”. A lot of the humor arises out of gender stereotyping and reducing transgender experiences to punchlines. Plus the episode begins and ends with sexual harassment in the workplace. Mechanically, this episode would, I think, be “funny” if the content were tweaked. But as it is, the cringe level is pretty high.
“Take Me Out To The Holosuite” Captain Sisko forms a baseball team; hijinks ensue. This is perhaps more of a “feel-good” episode than a “funny” episode, but it brings more than its fair share of funny moments. My favorites both come from Worf: “We will destroy them,” in the conference room, and then later on the field, “Death to the opposition.”
“Treachery, Faith and the Great River” This was actually the episode that got me thinking of all of this. The Odo/Weyoun story, obviously, is not light at all and indeed is tragic in several different ways. But the Nog story is genuinely funny. The mundane problems of the engineering staff are presented with dry humor that then gets ratcheted up, à la “In The Cards,” as Nog takes more and more absurd steps to try to resolve them. Poor O’Brien is the one who gets tugged out of his element, so, like Odo when Lwaxana shows up, we find some humor in his temporary misery.
“The Emperor’s New Cloak” This episode dials the absurdity of the Mirror Universe up to eleven, and even includes Rom lampshading how ridiculous the concept is, as he struggles with whether to trust the mirror counterparts of Brunt and O’Brien he meets. This is a case where I think going full-tilt does not do the episode any favors, because it ends up satirizing itself. However, one specific example of well-done humor does spring to mind: Quark and Rom carrying the cloaked cloaking device. Rarely does Star Trek veer into slapstick, but on this one occasion, they did well.
“Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang” The crew of Deep Space Nine team up to rob a holographic casino; hijinks ensue. Here we have the delightful nostalgia of “Trials and Tribble-ations” combined with the caper feel of “The Magnificent Ferengi” and the feel-good teamwork of “Take Me Out To The Holosuite”. In some ways, this is the ultimate development of the story concept first introduced way back in “Encounter at Farpoint,” in which the holodeck could be used not as focus of a story, but as another means for sending our crew someplace they’ve never been before. The result leaves us grinning one last time, before diving into the seriousness and high drama that marks the final half of DS9’s ultimate season.
Star Trek: Voyager
Episode Commentary
“Message in a Bottle” Though it takes the episode a while to warm up to it, eventually we find the Doctor channeling the haplessness of Data, as he is forced to grow beyond his original programming, and the haplessness of Quark, as he is thrust into circumstances well outside his comfort zone. (The fact that the Doctor is somewhat unlikable, and thus a bit of an anti-hero, means that, like Quark, we don’t feel bad about laughing at his misfortune the way we might were we to laugh at Data.) Despite some very high stakes, it does still feel like a “light” episode, partly because it gives the Doctor the chance to show some unexpected heroics.
“Bride of Chaotica!” It’s been a while since I saw this one, but it’s another in a long line of holodeck episodes. Like “Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang” and “Take Me Out To The Holosuite”, it succeeds by using the holodeck as a means to an end, not a end unto itself. By putting our characters into unexpectedly surreal circumstances, the episode becomes a lark.
“Someone To Watch Over Me” Suggested by synchronictistic: “Doc plays matchmaker with Seven, an alien ambassador from an ascetic culture gets drunk and hits on Seven, hijinks follow.”
“Relativity” Suggested by synchronictistic. I would not have thought to include this one, but I could see it possibly being intended as a bit of a farce, vaguely evocative of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
“Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy” A successor in spirit to “Message in a Bottle,” but focused more intently on the Doctor as he moves beyond his programming. There’s more than a little bit of skewering of the Doctor here— oh, you thought it would be easy to captain the ship? Well, here you go! And to be honest, that is largely unprecedented in Star Trek history, at least among Starfleet officers. It’s rare, if not unheard of, for one of our heroes to get such a good comeuppance. It definitely works, and certainly for me is funny.
“Life Line” Suggested by synchronictistic. Takes the core conceits of TNG’s “Brothers” and “Second Chances” and makes it funny by forcing a somewhat unlikable character to, essentially, have to put up with his own double. Lieutenant Barclay’s inclusion reinforces this.
“Body and Soul” Suggested by synchronictistic. I haven’t seen this one in a long time, but reading the Memory Alpha article leads me to agree that this one likely was intended to be a funny episode (even if parts of it may now seem uncomfortably non-consensual).
“Natural Law” Suggested by synchronictistic, specifically for the B-story, featuring Tom Paris and Interplanetary Drivers Ed.
Star Trek: Enterprise
Episode Commentary
“Two Days and Two Nights” At first, this was the only example of an episode from Enterprise where I thought the show runners set out to do an intentionally “light” episode (but then I remembered “Carbon Creek”). And the outcome of this episode is probably why they decided to shy away from such things hereafter. There was a clear effort to recall the levity of “Captain’s Holiday” and introduce some of the “hijinks” aspects that had worked well in previous “light” episodes throughout the franchise. And there are some funny moments, particularly around Phlox’s hibernation. But the overall effect is disappointing. Given that that was the essential plot of the story (Risa was supposed to be fun and it wasn’t; this episode was supposed to be fun and it wasn’t), perhaps the episode simply was too good at its own job. Plus, having Archer’s story tie so explicitly into the rather grim Suliban storyline certainly brought weight into the episode. And Malcolm and Trip’s mishaps, which might otherwise be funny, are injected with more than a few shades of early 2000’s transphobia and homophobia that definitely do not age well.
“Carbon Creek” I would not describe this episode as “funny” or even “fun.” But it is “charming,” and in a series otherwise weighted with pretty heavy episodes all around, it does stand out as the rare episode which clearly was made primarily to make us smile, while examining the human condition and, newly, the Vulcan condition as well. It calls to mind the tone of “Data’s Day,” with a touch of nostalgia for the Kirk-Spock-McCoy dynamic that lightened many moments in TOS— the Northerner Captain, the Vulcan, and the Southerner, playing off each other, each with their own way of teasing each of the others. Particularly for long-time fans, it feels comfortably familiar.
Star Trek: Discovery
Episode Commentary
“Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad” Like “Carbon Creek”, this episode is hardly “funny”, but it is notable for being, by far, the “lightest” episode of Discovery thus far. It being such draws our attention to something almost all of the episodes on this list share in common: they are standalones. This raises a chicken-and-egg question: is this because they never tried to make a “light” two-parter? Or is this because a two-parter could never successfully be “light”?
The Films (included at the suggestion of deusextibia)
A general note on the films: I would say that generally, as a function of being efforts at blockbuster cinema, most have to hold at their core some level of heaviness, with some lightness included for relief, but not as primary focus. The Wrath of Khan, Generations, First Contact and others all have extremely funny moments, but I wouldn’t say they belong on this list.
Movie Commentary
The Voyage Home Easily the lightest and most fun of the films. Not quite intended to be a “comedy”, I think, and definitely with its own heavy themes. But clearly intended to be a break from the literal life-and-death themes of its two predecessors.
The Final Frontier I never would have imagined this as a comedy, but deusextibia makes an interesting case that it may have been intended to be a comedy, and I am somewhat convinced that they were at least going for as much jocularity as TVH had.
Insurrection Compared to everything else on my list of episodes, it's still relatively heavy. But compared to the other movies, it is easily the lightest, aside from TVH, and I included "Carbon Creek" and "Magic To Make The Sanest Man Go Mad" for similar reasons, so probably should be included.
Star Trek Interesting to consider as a "light" outing. The high stakes and the destruction of Vulcan make me hesitate, but on the other hand it does have the feeling of a romp, even amidst all the sturm und drang. Debatable, but worth including for consideration.
Star Trek Beyond Though fan reactions were mixed, I definitely enjoyed this one and saw it as the most "fun" and "adventurous" of the Kelvin films. I also think it was intended to evoke more of that “hijinks” motif than its predecessors were.
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AH.fm's Trance Classics 10K Celebration Day (cues and sets)

AH.fm Trance Classics celebrated getting 10K fans on Facebook with a 24-hour event with 21 DJs, playing classic trance exclusively.
CueNation has cues (and sets on Mega.nz) while this AH.fm forum has the tracklist and sets as well.
Tracklist (from AH.fm):
01 York
  1. T2 - 8:15 to Nowhere (Taucher Remix)
  2. Humate - Love Stimulation (Paul van Dyk Mix)
  3. C & M - Dream Universe (Taucher Remix)
  4. Three Drives on a Vinyl - Greece 2000 (Original Mix)
  5. Jam & Spoon - Stella (Nalin & Kane Remix)
  6. Faithless - God is A Dj (Taucher Remix)
  7. Nalin & Kane feat. Andrea Canta - Beachball
  8. DJ Sakin & Friends - Protect your mind (Van Bellen Remix)
  9. Sosa - The Wave (Taucher Remix)
  10. Lunatic Asylum - The Meltdown (Taucher Remix)
02 Airwave
  1. Airwave - Ladyblue (Markus Schulz Coldharbour Mix)
  2. Plansiphere - So Many Other Ways (Original Mix)
  3. Trancesetters - The Saga (Original Mix)
  4. Sasha & Emerson - Scorchio (Full Length Version)
  5. Airwave - Venus Of My Dreams (Michael Dow Remix)
  6. Tiesto feat. Aqualung - UR (Junkie XL Air Guitar Remix)
  7. Antidote - What Time Is Love (Inspired Mix)
  8. Futureshock - Sparc (Original Mix)
  9. Breeder - The Chain (Original Mix)
  10. L.S.G. - Netherworld (Original Mix)
03 The Digital Blonde
  1. Digital Orgasm - Moog Eruption
  2. ID - ID
  3. Underworld - Rez
  4. The Digital Blonde - Mooga
  5. D-Shake - Technotrance
  6. Bug Kann & The Plastic Jam - Made In Two Minutes (Rave Mix)
  7. Quench - Dreams
  8. Mory Kante - Yeke Yeke (Hardfloor Mix)
  9. The Digital Blonde - Electra
  10. The Digital Blonde - Optica
  11. The Digital Blonde - Antheum (Free Mix)
  12. Scooter - Rhapsody In E
04 DJ Cor Fijneman
  1. DJ Tiësto - Theme From Norefjell (DJ Jan & Christophe Chantiz Rmx)
  2. Alure - No More Tears (Abnea Rmx)
  3. Andain - Beautiful Things (Cor Fijneman Rmx)
  4. Lost Witness - Happiness Happening (Lange Rmx)
  5. DJ Tiësto - Sparkles (Airscape Rmx)
  6. Chakra feat. Kate Cameron - Love Shines Through
  7. M1 - Heaven Sent (Michael Wood's Club Mix)
  8. DJ Cor Fijneman feat Jan Johnston - Venus (Tiësto Rmx)
  9. Matt Darey - Electro Buzz
  10. Fridge - Paradise (Nu Gray Rmx)
  11. Fire & Ice - Souvenir De Chine
  12. DJ Ton TB - Electronic Malfunction (Cor Fijneman's Outstanding Rmx)
05 4 Strings
  1. Age Of Love - Age Of Love (Jam & Spoon Watch Out For Stella Mix)
  2. Mauro Picotto - Lizard
  3. Binary Finary - 1999 (Kay Cee Remix)
  4. F.Massif - Somebody (Ferry Corsten Remix)
  5. DJ Jan - X-Santo (Transa Remix)
  6. D-Factor - Mystique
  7. ID - ID
  8. Darren Tate Vs Jono Grant - Nocturnal Creatures
  9. Freefall feat. Jan Johnston ‎– Skydive (I Feel Wonderful)
  10. 4 Strings feat. Vanessa van Hemmert - Sunrise
  11. Cosmic Gate - Exploration Of Space (Extended Mix)
  12. Fiocco - Afflitto ('97 Version)
  13. 4 Strings feat. Vanessa van Hemmert - Take Me Away (Into The Night) (Original Vocal Club Mix)
  14. Paul van Dyk - For An Angel (PvD E-Werk Club Mix)
  15. Airbase - Genie
06 Dead Pixels
  1. Armin van Buuren feat. Jennifer Rene - Fine Without You
  2. Motorcycle - Around You (Gabriel & Dresden Remix)
  3. DJ Shah feat. Adrina Thorpe - Who Will Find Me
  4. Dido - Sand In My Shoes (Above & Beyond UV Mix)
  5. Andy Moor And Adam White Present Whiteroom – The Whiteroom
  6. Holden & Thompson - Nothing (93 Returning Mix)
  7. Freefall feat. Jan Johnston - Skydive (I Feel Wonderful)
  8. Julian Vincent feat. Cathy Burton ‎- Here For Me (Mark Otten Extended Mix)
  9. Sunlounger Feat. Zara - Lost
07 Signum
  1. Ron Hagen & Pascal M - Take You There (Original Mix)
  2. Web - lovin' times (Signum Remix)
  3. Katana - Silence (Signum Remix)
  4. Signum feat. Scott Mac - Coming on Strong (Original Mix)
  5. ATB - 9pm Til I Come (Signum Remix)
  6. Travel - Bulgarian (Signum Remix)
  7. Yves Deruyter - To The Rhythm (Signum Remix)
  8. Lost Tribe feat. Izzy - Gamemaster (Signum Remix)
  9. Signum - What Ya Got 4 Me (Original Mix)
  10. Danjo & Rob Styles - Duende (Signum Remix)
  11. Signum - First Strike (Signum Signal Remake)
  12. Signum vs Delerium - Second Silence (Signum Mashup)
08 Ferry Tayle
  1. Cape Town - Proglifter
  2. Airwave - When Things Go Wrong 2005
  3. Airwave vs. Rising Star - Sunspot 2005
  4. Paul van Dyk - For An Angel (PvD E-Werk Club Mix)
  5. Pulp Victim - The World 99 (Moonman Remix)
  6. Plastic Boy - Live Another Life
  7. Team SR - Leaving London (T4L Remix)
  8. Lightforce - Join Me (Plug 'N' Play Remix)
  9. Mario Lopez - Into My Brain
  10. Pedro & Benno - Speechless
09 Akira Kayosa
  1. Pulsedriver - Kiss The Sound (AK Edit)
  2. Red Light District - Did You Hear Me (Phase 2 Mix)
  3. Digger - Church Of Ra (Original Mix)
  4. Basic Avalon - Suspicious Love (JamX & De Leon Mix)
  5. Binary Finary - 1998 (Matt Darey Mix)
  6. Jupiter - Her Desire (Original Mix)
  7. N-Fluence - Sweet Substance (Orignal Mix)
  8. Alphabreed - Beyond The Moon (Original Mix)
  9. Ralph Fridge - Angel (Club Mix)
  10. Flutlicht - The Fall (Marc Dawn Mix)
  11. Alfa - Scarosanct (Original Mix)
  12. Dogzilla - Without You (12" Mix)
10 Alex Di Stefano
  1. Elektrochemie LK - Schall (Thomas Schumacher Remix)
  2. Blaze feat. Palmer Brown - My Beat (Ambassador remix)
  3. Speedy J - Electric Deluxe (RE-edit)
  4. Gaiden - Point Blank (Speedy J Remix)
  5. Gabry Fasano - Catapulta (Original Mix)
  6. Yves Deruyter - Back To Earth (Rave Mix)
  7. Thomas Schumacher - When I Rock (Re-Edit)
  8. Push - Universal Nation (Original Mix)
  9. Veracocha - Carte Blanche (Original Mix)
  10. Art Of Trance - Madagascar (Ferry Corsten Remix)
  11. Plastic Boy - Life Isn't Easy (Original Mix)
  12. Matt Darey pres. Mash Up - Liberation (Matt Darey Remix)
  13. Push - Strange World (Re-Edit)
11 Michael Muse
  1. Underworld - Dark and Long (Dark Train)
  2. Chicane - Saltwater (Original Mix)
  3. Kelly & Lee - Only You (Original Mix)
  4. Tilt - Children (Tilt Courtyard Mix)
  5. Three Drives on a Vinyl - Carrera 2 (Original Mix)
  6. Art of Trance - The Colours (Indigo Mix)
  7. Art of Trance - Gloria (Transparent Mix)
  8. Libra presents Taylor - Anomaly Calling Your Name (Granny's Epicure Remix)
  9. Salt Tank - Eugina (DJ Tiesto Mix)
  10. Mindspace - Mindcontrol (Main Mix)
  11. Humate - Love Stimulation (Oliver Lieb Softmix)
  12. Lange feat. Skye - Drifting Away (Lange Sunset Mix)
12 Darren Simpson
  1. The Olmec Heads — Spiritualised (Astral Mix) [Neo]
  2. Sosa — The Wave (Megamind Remix) [Tetsuo]
  3. 2 Players — Swallow Your Pain [Drizzly]
  4. Yves Deruyter — Masters Of The Universe [Bonzai]
  5. Madelyne — Beautiful Child (A Deeper Love) (Hiver & Hammer Remix) [Xtravaganza]
  6. Spacediver — Unspoken (Svenson & Gielen Remix) [ID&T]
  7. Rank 1 feat. Shanokee — Such Is Life (Extended Version) [ID&T]
  8. 4 Strings — Mainline (4 Turntables Mix) [Liquid]
  9. Rank 1 — Beats @ Rank1 Dotcom [ID&T]
  10. Svenson — Sunlight Theory (Official Trance Energy Anthem 2004) (O-Zone Mix) [ID&T]
13 Scott Bond (courtesy of ryan3243)
  1. Trance Classics 10K Celebration - Intro
  2. The Conductor & The Cowboy - Feeling This Way (Solar Stone Remix)
  3. ID - ID
  4. Hans Zimmer - Injection (ID Remix)
  5. Moogwai - Viola
  6. ID - ID
  7. Brad Fiedel - The Terminator Theme
  8. ID - ID
  9. Talla 2XLC - Can You Feel The Silence (Flutlicht Remix)
  10. Moby - Go (Jason Kinetic 2006 Remix)
  11. ID - ID
  12. Matt Darey pres. Mash Up - Liberation (Fly Like An Angel)
  13. Three 'N One pres. Johnny Shaker - Pearl River
  14. ID - ID
  15. ID - ID
  16. ID - ID
  17. ID - ID
  18. ID - ID
  19. Ralph Fridge - Paradise (Nu Gray Mix)
14 Mark Winstanley
  1. Humate - Love Stimulation (Blank & Jones Remix)
  2. Kai Tracid - Liquid Skies (Eternia Audio Lab mix)
  3. Marino Stephano - Vision Control (Original Mix)
  4. Silent Harmony - Save The Whales (Vincent De Moor Remix)
  5. Vincent De Moor - Shamu (Original Mix)
  6. SAN - Feel My Love (Original Mix)
  7. SAN - Stroke (Original Mix)
  8. Ron Hagen & Pascal M - Forever (Original Mix)
  9. Ron Hagen & Pascal M - Take You There (Original Mix)
  10. Stray Dog - Mirror (Signum Remix)
  11. Lost Tribe - Gamemaster (Signum Remix)
  12. Carlos - The Silmarillia (R.O.O.S. Remix)
  13. Mindwalkers - The Future (Original Mix)
  14. Kamaya Painters - Outstream (Original Mix)
  15. Blank & Jones - After Love (The Signum Remix)
  16. Lost Witness - Red Sun Rising (Lange Remix)
  17. M3 - Bailamos (Matt Darey Remix)
  18. Blockster - Grooveline (Matt Darey Remix)
  19. Technique - Sun Is Shining (Mash Up Matt Remix)
  20. Faithless - Why Go (Lange Remix)
15 Paul Webster
  1. Fragma - Toca Me (In Petto Mix) [Positiva]
  2. Jurgen Vries - The Theme (Original Mix) [Direction Records]
  3. Plastic Boy - Silver Bath [Bonzai Trance Progressive]
  4. JamX & De Leon ‎- Can U Dig It? (Self Control) [Fate Recordings]
  5. Push - The Legacy (Club Mix) [Bonzai]
  6. VPL - T-Break (Steve Murano Remix) [Closet Recordings]
  7. Junkfood Junkies - The Journey (Junkfood Junkies Reworks Mix) [Club Culture]
  8. Scooter - Posse I Need You On The Floor (Club Mix) [Sheffield Tunes]
  9. Hennes & Cold - The Second Trip (DJ Scot Project Remix) [Tracid Traxxx]
  10. The Green Martian - Industry (Original Mix) [Tranceportation]
16 Manuel Le Saux
  1. OceanLab - Beautiful Together (Signum Remix)
  2. Rapid Eye - Stealing Beauty (Rapid Eye's R.E. Mix)
  3. Sun Decade - I'm Alone (Ronski Speed Mix)
  4. Aly & Fila - Eye Of Horus (Ronski Speed Mix)
  5. Masters & Nickson - 5th Dimension (Instrumental Mix)
  6. Solid Globe - North Pole (Original Mix)
  7. Rollerball - Albinoni (Super8 Remix)
  8. Robert Gitelman - Things to Say (Original Mix)
  9. Darren Tate vs Jono Grant - Nocturnal Creatures (Original Mix)
  10. Pulser - My Religion (Original Mix vs Lange Remix)
  11. Plastic Boy - Live Another Life (Original Mix)
17 Andrea Ribeca
  1. Nu-NRG — Eclisse [Vandit]
  2. Nu-NRG — Kosmosy [Monster Tunes]
  3. Active Sight — Tears Of Joy (Nu-NRG Remix)
  4. Nu-NRG vs Gate 4 — Astralis [Vandit]
  5. U2 — Where The Streets Have No Name (Nu-NRG Remix)
  6. Nu-NRG — Butterfly [Vandit]
  7. Nu-NRG — Connective [Vandit]
  8. FX Zone — Synthasia (Nu-NRG Remix) [Difuse]
  9. Nu-NRG — Freefall [Vandit]
  10. Andrea Ribeca feat. Lokka - Cyberfly (Dub Mix)
  11. Nu-NRG — Dreamland (Original Mix) [Vandit]
  12. Basic Dawn — Pure Thrust (Nu-NRG Remix) [Difuse]
  13. Nu-NRG — To Slide
  14. Nu-NRG — Casino [Vandit]
18 Paul Maffia
  1. Nenes & Pascal Feliz - Platinum (Intro Tech Edit)
  2. Armin vs M.I.K.E. - Intruder
  3. Dj Danjo & Rob Styles - Duende (Signum Remix)
  4. Simon Patterson - F16
  5. NU NRG - The Mind
  6. Passive Resistance - Praiseworthy Tunes (Hoipolloi Remix)(Short Edit)
  7. JK Walker - Inertia
  8. Simon Patterson - Smack (Short Edit)
  9. CSI - Direct Disco (Sander van Doorn Remix) (Re-Edit)
  10. Randy Katana - Fancy Fair (Mac Zimms Remix) (Short Re-Edit)
  11. Marcel Woods - Advanced (Re-Edit)
  12. Sander van Doorn - Riff (Short Edit)
  13. Mojado vs Dark Alliance - El Toro Genetico (XDR Mashup)
  14. Mojado - Kaktus (Short Re-Edit)
  15. Fred Baker vs Greg Nash - Lunar Eclipse
  16. Ron van den Beuken - Timeless (RvdB mix)
19 Dan Shepherd
  1. Moogwai - The Labyrinth (Oliver KleinÕs Mutteki Remix)
  2. Albion - Air (HybridÕs Supersonic Remix)
  3. Albion - Air (Oliver Lieb Remix)
  4. Greg Murray feat. Unknown Vocaliste - I Feel Loved (Vocal Mix)
  5. Art Of Trance & POB - Turkish Bizarre (dba Remix)
  6. Art Of Trance - Love Washes Over (Airwave Remix)
  7. Altitude - Silence Is Loud (Neo & Farina Remix)
  8. Art Of Trance - Madagascar (Push Remix)
  9. Poltergeist - Vicious Circles (Max Graham Remix)
  10. Libra - Anomaly (Calling Your Name)
20 Colm Mulgrew
  1. Love Club - The Journey (Light Remix)
  2. Pob - Beast (Original Mix)
  3. Art of Trance - Madagascar (Cygnus X Remix)
  4. Art of Trance - Mosquito (Original Mix)
  5. Poltergeist - Vicious Circles (Union Jack Remix)
  6. Pob - Waah (Original Seismix)
  7. Art of Trance vs Pob - Turkish Bizarre (DBA Remix)
  8. Art of Trance - Octopus (Original Mix)
  9. Union Jack - Cockroach (Original Mix)
  10. Union Jack - Two Full Moons & a Trout (14'' Mix)
  11. Union Jack - Red Herring (Original Mix)
  12. Salamander - Tempest (Union Jack Remix)
21 Ross Anderson
  1. DJ Spoke - Ignition (SHOKK Remix)
  2. Kai Tracid - Too many times (Yoda Remix)
  3. Reeloop - Fcuk!ng Society (Original Mix)
  4. Mauro Picotto - Lizard (Claxixx Mix)
  5. DJ Zagros & Pacific - Shine (Original Mix)
  6. The Freak - The Melody, The Sound (Flutlict Remix)
  7. Flutlicht - Icarus (SHOKK mix)
  8. Yoda Inc - Definitely (DJ Scot Project remix)
  9. Yakooza - French Kiss (Scot Project Mix)
  10. Ricky Effe - Sector .30 (Sector Mix)
  11. Mauro Picotto - Like This Like That (Megavoices Claxxix Mix)
  12. Angel One - Hold Me Tonight (Hennes & Cold Remix)
  13. Global Cee - Burnin' (Kan Cold remix) GLOBAL
  14. Hennes & Cold - The Second Trip (DJ Scot Project Remix)
  15. Yakooza - Cocaine (Scot Project remix)
  16. Kai Tracid - Trance & Acid (DERB Remix)
  17. Uberdruck - Drugface (Überdruck mix)
  18. Yoji Biomehanika - Ding a Ling (Scot Project Remix)
  19. Guyver - Differences
submitted by fieryscribe to trance [link] [comments]

Dead Heat

It was the dead heat of summer.
Normally I’m what my mother would affectionately call “the frugal type.” My father called it being a cheap-ass, but that’s not the point here. The point is that I rarely run the air conditioning in my apartment, because in an eighty year old building, the insulation is crap and it triples my monthly bill just to keep my place a paltry ten degrees cooler. And that’s working at full blast.
However, this summer has been a record breaker. I don’t know if it’s global warming or what, but the important part is, I was finally forced to break down and turn on the A/C.
So there I sat in my underwear, sweating like a filthy swine all over my newish couch, waiting for the sweet release of relief from the overhead vent in the living room. This was one of only two air registers in the 700-square-foot unit. The other was in the bedroom, but it only pushed half the amount of air.
There came the familiar hum of machinery clinking, gears and wheels laboring in the system (or so I imagined) as it fired to life for the first time since I’d caved and used it last year. Finally, the fan sputtered to life and I closed my eyes, preparing for a blast of arctic wind so frosty it would make me forget all about my skin sticking to the pleather cushions of my couch. But that blast did not come. The motor whirred noisily, but spat out no new air. After a few moments I realized that something was wrong. And I swore, a lot. Here I was, sitting in the middle of the hottest summer in recent memory, and the A/C unit had just now decided to shit the bed. It was unthinkably cruel. It was also the weekend, which meant Carl, the crusty old building maintenance guy, was sitting drunk in a casino somewhere, and would not be answering his phone. And he didn’t, so I left a message. I’m sure folks who live in nicer buildings can probably expect a higher level of care, but my place is down a rung or two from that. And I damn sure wouldn’t be calling a professional and paying some fee worth more than the damn A/C unit itself when Carl would fix it on Monday. So I resigned myself to getting out of the house and finding some relief on someone else’s dime for the day. Maybe the movie theater. But the strangest thing happened when I walked back to the A/C unit to shut it off. On top of the normal sound of the running motor, there was also a tak tak tak-ing sound, like playing cards stuck in a bicycle spoke.
I ducked down to peer into the metal grate of the unit, which was built into the wall. And there inside, I found the source of my problem. A large wad of paper was jammed inside, clogging the air flow.
I am not a handy person. Let me just say that. I’ve never taken household appliances apart to look at the insides. But I am a curious person. And curiosity struck me hard when I saw that little wad of paper in my air conditioner. There were only two screws holding the cover of the metal register on and although I may not own a screwdriver, I grew up watching MacGuyver and was almost giddy to find that a dime actually worked to turn those screw heads. The cover clattered to the floor and as soon as it did, the ball of paper shot out and bounced off my sweaty torso.
The paper wad was followed by a steady gust of air so cool it nearly made me fall to my knees and thank the gods of climate control. It was easily twice as cold as I remembered last year and I knew immediately that the culprit of my poor ventilation was sitting at my feet. I was so amazed at the fact that I’d actually fixed something that I almost forgot about the paper wad. I basked in the refreshing cold for a moment longer, then bent to grab the crumpled ball.
When I opened it, a fair amount of dust spilled out and onto my toes.
The wad was crisp, almost brittle to the point of breaking as I unraveled it. And what I found kept getting more and more curious. Inside the wad of paper was a smaller, balled up newspaper clipping. It was yellowed almost to the point of illegibility, but I could still make out the faint ghost of the typeset.
It was a brief snippet:
Denver, Co. – July 22, 1996 The bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Tanner A. Hill were discovered in their downtown apartment building in the early hours of the morning, according to Denver Police. Although retrieved from the building’s furnace by the authorities, the bodies are believed to have been mutilated in a manner consistent with ritualistic serial killings that have been reported sporadically this year across the nation. It is unclear whether the Police believe these homicides are correlated, but it is known at this time that there is no clear suspect. We here at the Rocky Mountain News extend our sincerest condolences to the Mr. and Mrs. Hill’s families.
And there, sitting atop the article, was a poorly-aged photo of my building, The Hemingway. The quality had weathered to bland tones of yellow and gray, but I could very well make out the three distinctive spires which rose up into the sky like knights’ lances. “Good god,” I said. There had been a brutal murder in my building back in the 90’s and I’d never even known about it. Granted, it wasn’t all that surprising, given the age of the building, and the location. But still, it was an unsettling thought. What a weird glimpse into the past. But that’s precisely what it was: a glimpse into the past. Two decades to be precise. I shook off my chills, figuratively. Literally, I was actually kind of cold, now that the air had been blasting my sweaty torso full-tilt for a couple minutes. ’96 was a long time in the rearview. Hell, the only thing older in this place than the building itself was Carl. And that caused me to pause too. Had Carl been the poor sap who found those crispy bodies in the furnace? Jesus, what a terrible thought. I really felt bad for the guy if it was.
I debated keeping the newspaper story, but decided it was too grim. Too damn grim.
So I took the clipping and crushed it in my palm, but paused as I did so, because I was left with the piece of printer paper it had been wrapped in. It was scrawled upon in sharp, sloppy letters that were almost illegible. It read:
Number 5 oh four Bathe in the memory Wash in the ash Return for another when Time at last
I gulped hard when I read that. The number 504 was nailed to the outside of my apartment, painted fittingly in sanguine red. That couple had been killed and mutilated in my own home, the place where I ate and slept. I just felt…numb.
I must have stood there, just staring down at that hand scrawled note, for a full five minutes. I could not believe it. If it was a practical joke, it was one without payoff, without punchline, because whoever had written the thing had clearly done so decades prior. If it was a genuine threat, a note left by the killer himself, it was almost a guarantee that he was long in the grave. I balled the whole thing up and lobbed it into the trash next to my computer. Fuck that noise. Fuck all of it. It was all some sick, twisted—
But my train of thought was interrupted by the nasty trail of dirt that had fallen out of the wadded paper. It grated under my bare feet, ticking my toes. However, it wasn’t really dirt. It was too fine, and its blackness smeared across the hardwood, leaving smudged footprints in my wake. When I reached down to wipe a layer off my foot I recognized it for what it really was. It was ash.
And then came a knock at the door.
“Anderson, you in there? It’s Carl. Just got your message about the bum air unit.”
I just stood there, looking from my feet to the door, waiting for my brain to process what was happening.
“Anderson?” he said. “Finally. It’s time at last.”
submitted by brandonmeyers to nosleep [link] [comments]

A Crusade Competitive Ruleset Draft

Hi! I'm a guy who plays a fair bit of Crusade, and follows the competitive scene for other smash games. Below I've made what I think can be considered a draft of a full competitive Ruleset, though some things will need to be changed. I also have some lists of tech and changes on the bottom. Be warned, it's long.
I should mention that the crusade back room also has a publicly recommended tournament ruleset. You can find it at http://projectcrusade.forumotion.com/t979-pcbr-competitive-information-thread, and decide which one you like best, or take elements from both.
Super Smash Bros. Crusade 0.9.0
A Competitive Ruleset
General Three stock, 8 minutes. Winner strikes three stages. Best of three for all but Losers, Winners and Grand Finals, which have best of five. No items, hazards off, Final Smashes off.
Airdodges are a bit more uncertain. Crusade airdodges can be very unbalanced, though they are becoming much better in 0.9.1. I personally prefer Crusade airdodges, but Melee airdodges are very much a possibility for a tournament for now.
Stages-Starter
Probably the most balanced of all stages. Three platforms, flat bottom of stage, no janky ledges, not terribly long, good blast zones, it just works, like in all other smash games.
Doesn't have platforms, and it's on the longer side, so it favours projectiles, but it's ledges are fine, and so are it's blast zones. Just like in other games.
Might not seem legal at first, but becomes an incredibly balanced stage when hazards are off. Good for projectiles, good for avoiding them, good blast zones, although it'a ledges kinda suck. Longer than Battlefield.
It's got no stage hazards, and it's got good ledges and blast zones. It's got one platform on one side, and a slope on the other. Kind of avoids the centre a bit, due to advantages being gained from the sides. Strangely, the walls on either side do not go all the way down the actual image for it, allowing you to recover through the stage with certain characters.
Stages-Starter or Counterpick
Like with Outer Space, requires you turn off hazards. The only thing about this one is it's small blast zones, but other than that, it's a good stage. Not terribly long, easy to grab ledges. Probably a starter.
Doesn't even require you turn off hazards. Three platforms, which move every so often, but the stage is huge, longer than FD but with similar blast zones and huge platforms that go even closer to them. Leaning towards Counterpick due to it's favouring of strong back throws and up throws.
Doesn't require you to turn off hazards. As long as FD, but with kinda bad ledges and two moving platforms on either side. You can get pretty close to the side blast zones. Once again, great for back throws. Unsure about this one.
Requires you to turn off hazards. This stages's problem is that it's huge, and that's the only problem with it. It's just a big FD with really high ceilings. I think Counterpick.
This stage is the epitome of 'early demise'. You will die here, and quickly. One good combo and you're dead. Seriously. The platforms work, the ledges are kinda bad, but my god those blast zones. I think Counterpick.
Stages-Counterpick or Illegal
The hazards can be turned off, but it's blast zones are big and it's got a lot of layers. Might have been legal in another game, but I don't think Crusade really needs anymore counter picks. Leaning towards illegal.
This stage doesn't tilt, but has walls. Might make it a Counterpick, just because of the number of Counterpicks currently. Not a bad stage by any means.
The hazard switch removes the blocks, and prevent you using the pipes, but has the constant problem of a gaping hole in the stage. The pipes are also walls, and the side blast zones are small. I think illegal.
The boxes are removed by the hazard switch, but this stages ledges are terrible. There's also the problem of the fact that the moving platform is solid. That really nerfs vertical K.O.'s. This one's a little harder to pick, but I think it's illegal.
Stages-Illegal
Huge, floor hazards, gaps in the floor, small side blast zones. Not even the hazard switch saves this one.
Walk offs. That's pretty much it.
Tornados at first, but they can be turned off. It's just the combo tent. Oh the combo tent.
This just has a bad layout, and kills Ness and Lucas's recovery. Also has gaps.
Gaps. The bumpers are removed by the hazard switch, but still. It's a real problem, and a bit overcentralising.
Huge, and so. Many. Walls! Not good.
The ghosts can be removed, but there are quite a few walls.
Walk-offs, plus a wall.
Walk-offs, plus some obstructing views.
Even with hazards off, the stage has big walls, so no.
It has spikes as a stage hazard, which can't be turned off, and it has walls. No.
NOTES ON TECHNIQUES
General
Multiple Characters
Like in Brawl, some characters can enter a glide by either holding a mid-air jump or jump after an Air Dodge (a la floating) or by using an Up B. Pressing the attack button causes you to perform a Glide Attack while in this state, though unlike Brawl, Ridley and Bomberman's Glide Attacks do not stop your glide, and are projectiles.
In this game, it's not just Peach who can do it! Floating is activated by holding a mid-air jump or holding jump after an Air Dodge, or you can do it exactly where you are by holding down and jumping. After doing any of these, the jump button must be held for the float to last. While floating, you can perform aerials, some specials, and airdodges while maintaining your float, but beware that Tails can only maintain a float if he uses his forward or down airs, and quite a few special special moves cancel floats. They only last so long though, so be aware of that to.
Wall jumping is a popular ability, performed by pressing the opposite direction to a wall your character is near, or by pressing jump next to a wall (unless you character has a wall cling or wall climb). This allow you to jump off a wall, gaining extra height without having to consume a jump or Airdodge.
By pressing jump next to a wall, certain characters can cling to a wall, staying there until their time runs out or they wall jump off by pressing jump again. This is in the Multiple Characters section because in Brawl and Smash 4 his can be performed by a good few characters (including Lucario).
This all-new ability can be performed by pressing jump next to a wall. After doing this, your character will stick to the wall a la a Wall Cling, but without a time limit and the ability to move up and down the wall. Pressing jump makes you wall jump off the wall you are climbing.
(also why does Ridley have one of these his recovery is ridiculous)
Character Specific
By pressing down and right and then pressing attack, Sonic will perform a D-Tilt that ends quicker than normal and slides him slightly forward.
By chaining successive QSDTs, Sonic can slide around the arena, getting faster the more QSDTs he performs in one direction. Turning around lowers your speed a bit. This is useful because Sonic attacks while this occurs, and you can move faster with it than by Wavedashing.
If Shadow's boost ends in the air, he keeps his momentum. While not really useful on, say the bottom of Battlefied, Shadow can cancel his jump with the boost and use it on a platform, and if he times it right, he can end his boost in the air and use an aerial (preferably n-air or f-air) before landing.
Holding Down on the C-Stick while dashing as Little Mac, Tails or Ice Climbers causes them to dash much slower than their walk, allowing for crazy mix ups. If you stop moving, you will down smash, but if you let go of the C-Stick you go back to normal dashing speed. You can't dash attack while in the slow dash.
CHANGES FOR 0.9.1
THINGS UP FOR DEBATE
THINGS I MIGHT NEED HELP ON
Thanks for reading!
submitted by Late_One to SSBC [link] [comments]

[Table] IamA Phil Hellmuth Jr. aka the Poker Brat and I've won $18 million playing poker AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2015-09-18
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
What happened between you and Sam Grizzle? Sam Grizzle!?! Sam has always been one of the funniest guys in the poker world: huge personality! One day he asked me to save him a seat in a game while he went to eat. After 90 minutes, I made the casino stop taking his $9 every 30 minutes, cause so much time had passed, AND then he shows up and the game is full, DOH! So he wants to fight me...I say, well you better do it this week while my back is out, and suddenly I'm in my first and only fist fight ive ever had in the poker world! We both land punches, but next day not a mark on either of us (BEST FIGHT EVER cause no one was hurt).
Could you have done more to help recover player's money on Ultimate Bet? What do you think of Russ Hamilton? What were your thoughts about the superuser scandal at UB? Are you still good friends with Greg Pierson? What cable networks can one find PokerCentral? I was proud to have had a big role in forcing an investigation at UB, which led to $25 million being returned to the players. People said I should have left the site, and that would have been easy to do as I was wanted by Full Tilt. But I saw another pro get haunted for years because the site he repped DID NOT pay the players back. Staying was the right move, and I was happy when the players were paid back. I was also happy when evidence emerged a few years later that made it clear that I wasn't aware of what was happening. The poker world stuck by, but the evidence was nice and completely shut up the haters.
Hi Phil. What's the future for online poker in the US? Should there be one? Legalized online poker is coming; 100%! It is simply a question of when...Amazingly, one person has stopped legalized online poker: one person! Mr Sheldon Adelson: and he spends $100 million every year funding politicians...However, David Baazov (poker big hope) is fighting hard, and effectively, for legalization. I'm hoping for full legalization in California, and then many of us, and the experts, believe it will spread accross the USA.
Do you realize your constant name dropping on twitter is annoying? why do you do it? although you come across as an alpha do you suffer from little man? Put yourself in my shoes for one second. When you're lucky enough you hang out w great people, are you NOT supposed to talk about it? People tweet about what they do, who they hang out with, etc...And I'm lucky to hang out w great people. Saturday I MC President Clinton's Charity Poker Tourney in San Fran (whoops, looks like I'm name dropping again!) -Hmmm...Maybe this time I did name drop.
How in the the hell do you deal with those beats where you are 90%+ with just the river left and wind up getting busted...well besides the obligatory bitching and moaning? Obviously I whine too much because I'm the Poker Brat!
But I try really hard to NOT let any bad luck I have at the tables affect me away from the tables. I have gotten better and better at this over the years, but I'm sure my wife will tell you i was bad at this in my twenties and thirties. I don't want that stuff to impact my relations w my friends and family in a negative way...
Is it true you started playing poker (and winning) against your college professors? Yes, I did play against two professors at the Univ of Wisconsin way back in 1984! In that game, we also had Psychiatrists, lawyers, and doctors. None of them were under the age of 40, and I was 20. Each was a professional w multiple degrees, I was an undergrad. But i'm pretty good at this thing we call "Poker"
How did this come about? Did one of your professors just invite you to their weekly poker game? I'd love it if this happened to me haha. I started in the smaller games at UW, at the Memorial Union, and as I crushed that game, then I found the bigger games, until I made it into the "Docs game." I once won $2,700 in one night in that game, in about 1985! Seemed like a fortune to me then!
Hey Phil, do you feel that the live poker scene has improved as a result of Black Friday? Would you actually prefer to keep things the way they are now, or would you rather see online play legalized tomorrow? It is better for the poker world w online poker up and running in the USA. More people, more players, more endorsement money, more television. Bigger is better!
As to the effect it has had on the live poker scene, i am sure that all of these players are ready for another massive influx of players. Poker needs legalized online poker in the USA.
Are there any elements of the game that you enjoy which the average person wouldn't think about (due to not having as much experience as yourself)? Yes, the element of figuring things out that others do not see. I'm not as sharp as the characters from the "Mentalist" or "Sherlock Holmes," but I see things in everyday life that others do not, and I enjoy that. I keep my prism wide open, and sometimes I need 10 hours of sleep a night or more because of it.
Are you still friends with Matusow? Where has he been? Love Mike the mouth! He is OK. He survived a life threatening surgery on his back, and he is still playing high stakes poker, mostly in San Diego...Good guy, good heart, despite what it looks like on television...
Hi, Phil. When did you first realize that you were the greatest poker player in the world? I thought I was the best well BEFORE anyone considered me in that league!! Thinking you're the best, or listening people that say you're the best is dangerous for me. It's better to know I'm good, keep my head down and stay focused on winning bracelets.
Tell us about the new channel - will I get it on Dish? I'm excited about Poker Central! 100 Million people play our game, more than tennis and golf combined, and the future is BRIGHT BRIGHT BRIGHT! It's easy for me to imagine poker 24/7, a lot like the Golf Channel has golf 24/7...
How has the game changed for the better and for the worse since online play has become less prominent? (We played together in Event 3 of the 2009 series, PLOH. Thanks for doing this.) Great question! Sadly, the poker world in the USA has shrank a bit (not too much). With entries down at the WSOP from the good old days, a lot less television (I miss Poker After Dark), and less sponorship deals for US players. However, the rest of the world has seen a lot less shrinkage.
It was really cold, okay?! Also, Rounders 2? Are you involved in the talks? What is actually going on there, if you know? I talked to the writer of Rounders, Brian Koppleman, on his show. And was pretty sure Rounders II was going to get made. Rounders did $150 million on DVD, so why not?
Hi, I am a Japanese. What is your image about Japan and Japanese poker players? Because of the link that my kids have had to Japanese pop culture, I expected a quid-pro-quo re the popularity of poker, but I was saddened when I was told that poker was illegal in Japan! Still, tough Japanese poker players are emerging.
Your career has stretched through the rise and fall of poker's popularity, particularly in the United States. What do you think needs to be done to ignite another "Moneymaker Effect"-style boom of poker interest? A bigger BOOM is coming when the USA legalizes online poker again! We have witnessed this in Italy, France, and Russia when online poker was actually legalized, and the operators were shocked because they had 10 times as many people play (10X) than was expected. Ditto in the USA: coming soon...
Have you ever sat at a table with Norm MacDonald? If so, what was like to play with him? Norm and I just seem to have hit it off well from day one, although we don't see each other very often. I live in Bay Area, he lives in LA, and were both busy. Nice guy! Canadian...
If you can only root for one team, Packers or Niners? Bracelet that means the most to you other than the '89 Main Event. Packers AND Niners! Lifelong Packers fan, but my friend Jed York owns the Niners, I spoke to the team, and my other friend Jim Harbaugh used to coach them. Winning the 2012 WSOPE Main Events in Cannes (Bracelet 13) was amazing!
Is your "Poker Brat" personna just an act for the cameras, or do you really lose control of yourself and your emotions at the table? Unfortunately, I DO lose control sometimes! But a lot less than the world thinks or understands...If I lose it, then ESPN is there to play it over and over, but when I'm good they aren't using that footage as much.
What is the funniest tell you've seen? Nothing like the ones in Rounders or other TV shows or movies! But one guy always talked when he had it, and always shut up we he didn't. We call it "Hollywooding"
Hey Phil! Where is your favorite place outside of Vegas to play poker? My home game in the Bay Area. Filled w the "Masters of the universe," I love these guys and they have become my best friends. Other than that, the LA poker scene is vibrant...
Hey Phil, I've always wondered how you felt about Tony G lying when he said he did not see his hand on The Big Game. Is this something you've forgiven him for? I did not respect this move and thought it bad bad form. I forgave Tony G, because I forgive everyone so that I don't waste any of my time hating anyone. But I still feel like he owes me $16,000!
Do you think you are the best poker player at the moment? I'm pretty good! Let me keep my head down and focus and in 30 years lets see where people rank me in the pantheon of great poker players.
What is your take on Phil Laak? I love Phil Laak! He is a goofball, much like how me and many of us in the poker world are goofballs. Very creative guy...
Last updated: 2015-09-18 04:52 UTC | Next update: 2015-09-18 05:02 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
submitted by tabledresser to tabled [link] [comments]

[Table] I AMA Card Dealer on the Las Vegas Strip. Let's talk Vegas.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2012-03-23
Link to submission(Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
Have you ever spotted a black jack "crew"? Or seen a "crew" taken out by the casino? I've seen people TRYING to be a "crew." Most people who think they can count cards, can't. Right after that movie 21 came out the casinos were flush with confused college kids whispering to each other, "What's the count again?"
What's it cost to get a hooker to do anal? Honestly, I have no idea. You can e-mail the prostitutes in Pahrump before going in and they would tell you if they offer the service and how much it would cost.
Also, great username.
Do you have blackjack basic strategy down by heart? if so, and I just want to play that way, will you tell me what to do? are you allowed to tell me what to do if I just ask? Related question: do you keep a count of the cards yourself? if so are you good at predicting when a counter is going to make their big bets? Yes, I have basic strategy memorized and some dealers are allowed to assist players, it depends on the casino. I only keep count if I'm bored or I suspect someone else on the table is counting.
My brother-in-law, Bob, was in Las Vegas last week. What did you think of him? Bob was a delight for everyone and a generous tipper. We'd love to have him back again.
If I were to make a trip to Vegas, how would enabling the Wild Wasteland perk affect my travels? I've heard some people say it's what the experience should be in the first place and others say it's just stupid. Enabling Wild Waseland turns the Wild Wild West Casino into a casino based on the Wild Wild West movie adaptation starring Will Smith; I don't recommend it. Plus the walls get all clippy.
What is the deal with counting cards? Is it easy to spot? If so, do you get a lot of amateur card counters trying to do this or cheat in other ways, and what is the normal course of action? Thanks! Very few people actually try to cheat here. Spotting card counters is all in the way that they bet. It's a certain formula with very few methods of deviation so if they don't follow it strictly it doesn't work so nobody is worried about the amateurs. If a dealer suspects someone of card counting, they report it to their pit boss who then watches the game. If the person IS thought to be card counting they are simply denied service at the casino.
What happens if you drop a chip on the ground while dealing blackjack or roulette or some other game? Would you bend down to pick it up or is the risk that someone would take the chips on the table too great? If a chip is dropped I'll call the floor supervisor over to retrieve it. Yes, the reason is to protect the chip rack.
If you were desperate for money, and you had to find a way to take, say, $250,000 out of a casino, what would your plan be? Is there anything you think you could actually get away with? There's too many security guards, surveillance, and key cards to take it in cash. It's not Ocean's 11 security but they know what they're doing. The only other option would be to steal chips but the large denomination ones are RFID tracked so that would be a bust as well. I'd have a better success rate applying for a loan at the bank.
You ever run into any damned NCR? No, this particular stretch of wasteland is ruled by Caesar.
What's your favorite game to deal? Blackjack is my personal favorite. There's a bit of an art to it that I enjoy. We ARE allowed to cut someone off but it's still a little frowned upon.
Are you allowed to cut someone off if they obviously have a problem stopping when they should, like a bartender cutting off a lush? We can also cut people off from drinking, like bartenders.
Can you explain a little more? Is it just that it's hard to tell a guy who's just lost a lot of money from a guy that has just mortgaged his house a third time? The 3rd mortgage story is actually pretty rare. Most gamblers are actually quite good with money. But there are signs we look for to spot problem gambling patterns and direct them to appropriate help.
What other games do you deal? I'm a former croupier. I deal all the games. I used to get high limit black Jack a lot, because I was young, cute and pleasant. That meant more tips and less marks. However, I always had more fun in low level games. I'd take $5 black Jack over hand held baccarat any day. Thoughts? I deal all of them as well, although I'll admit craps is not my forte. I'm always impressed with the ones who do it well. I prefer low-level stakes myself. Baccarat's a hellishy boring game to deal.
What are the signs you look for? Multiple trips to the ATM is one. Suddenly gambling much larger amounts of money is another. Referred to as going "on tilt."
So full tilt would mean gambling large sums? If so, TIL. It's a term more commonly used in poker but yeah, that's what it means.
What's the most you have seen someone win in one hand/night? The biggest I've seen in one hand was a bad beat jackpot dealt in the poker room. The winner left with a little over 250,000 dollars.
What's the etiquette when you make a mistake? I was in Vegas recently playing poker and someone innocently took an extra dollar back from the pot, so the dealer didn't return my small blind. I told him, he said the pot was right, I said I put $6 in and it was $5 total to call, he said I took $1 back, I said I didn't, we go back and forth, he makes some personal remark about my being bad at math and how could the pot be right, I make some personal remark about it not being my job to police the pot and him being bad at his job. Eventually he offered to call the floor but the guy who took the extra dollar gives it to me so no floor is called. What's the correct way to handle this type of situation? If you think a dealer has made a mistake you are correct in telling him immediately. The floor should be called if the situation isn't immediately solved. If the money in question is a small amount (say a dollar or two) then the house usually neutralizes the dispute by putting in the missing money. Larger amounts would go through surveillance though.
Vegas is a magic place to me. I love it so much and I'm planning on moving their in my late twenties or thirties, can you tell me what it's like to live in Vegas instead of just visit? Also, how did you get the job of a card dealer? Locals actually have quite a few perks. Some strip clubs, dance clubs, shows, and etc. have a locals discount or "industry night." The Vegas lifestyle is available to the locals at a cheaper rate but just remember not to do it every day. To get a job as a dealer I filled out an application, passed an audition. Simple as that.
What's the residential part of Vegas like? I've only ever seen the popular areas, Fremont and the Strip, or the deserts. And as far as the heat, I live in west texas and I love working in the dry heat. It's mostly apartment buildings and gated communities alternated by strip malls and bars. The best bars are off the strip, in my opinion.
When were you hired? What games did you have going in on your resume, what did you audition for? I was hired for my current job in late 2010. I had all standard table games on my resume and I was auditioning for poker. Resume's aren't as important in dealing as the audition. If you've been dealing for 30 years and you mess up during the audition, they're going to go with the guy with only 1 year of experience who aced it.
What is the largest tip you have received at the table? Is it possible to pick up a casino employee or is that frowned upon? The largest tip I've received was 600 dollars. I saw a player toss a cranberry (5k) chip to a dealer once. Tips are a big "X" factor for your income and if you're not working at a casino full time it can be difficult to budget.
I'm sorry, I completely missed your second question. Picking up a casino employee is possible and not really frowned upon. Don't expect much from the girls dealing in the "party pits" though.
Can roulette dealers really drop the ball within a number or two? Do you work at a newer casino or an old one? I miss the sports book at the Frontier. How long have you been at this? No, roulette dealers cannot do that. Roulette wheels are checked for bias electronically and any suspicious patterns would attract attention. I've work/ed at newer casinos and older ones. I prefer the character of the older houses but I think the Aria is amazing. I've been dealing for about 10 years now.
I was playing blackjack at the Hard Rock a few years ago when a couple of prostitutes joined the table for awhile, trying to strike it up with my brother and me. They eventually gave up and left. The dealer told us he referred to these girls as "rack rats" because when they are successful, it hurt the house take (chips accumulating in his rack). Is that a general term, or just this dealer's lingo? I've personally never heard it but I wouldn't be surprised if it was a common term. Gaming slang is a lot of rhyming and alliteration. I'd much appreciate it if the whole world would please stop saying "Winner, winner Chicken Dinner."
I'm going to Vegas in a couple of months and I love magic. What are some of the best magic shows to go to and how far in advance should I buy tickets? By far the best magic show, in my opinion, is Mac King's show at Harrah's. Simple, but amazing illusions in an intimate-sized theatre and very funny. Penn & Teller are great as well. The tickets can be picked up for a discount at ticket booths around the strip the day of the show. The kiosks are called Same-Day Tickets or Half-Price Tickets and are a good value. Stay away from the Criss Angel show. It's terrible.
Why is Criss Angel terrible, in your opinion? He spends most of the show posing instead of doing magic tricks. I don't think Criss Angel is terrible, just his Vegas show.
Have you ever met a pornstar with hugely enhanced breasts? Like Kayla Kleevage, Minka, or Claudia Marie? No, but I have met a few pornstars out here. They're generally nice people, although it's always been in relaxed social situations.
How... 'relaxed'? At bars or private/home games. I've never met any at events like the AVN awards.
I have 200 Dollars for the night. What things to do will last the longest / provide me with the biggest value / return (average-common sense) - sights,places,activities ? Depends, are you gambling at all?
Yes, Blackjack ? And Roulette maybe ? But I was thinking in the lines of sites / clubs... If you're going to play low-limit table games you're probably going to want to go downtown to Fremont Street. Set aside about 40 dollars apiece and play the minimum that the table allows. If you want to see a show there are kiosks around the strip and in many casinos that offer discounted tickets for shows on the current day. Clubs are expensive to get into (30 dollars is about average) and the drinks are quite expensive as well (10 dollar beers and god help you if you order anything remotely fancy).
If I won 1 million dollars at the casino would the casino report that to the IRS? Yes, you'd have to sign a tax form similar to a W-2 to receive the money. Depending on how much you'd gambled in the past year you'd have to pay about 30 percent of it to taxes.
The correct form is a W-2G, where they should automatically mail/give you at the end of the year. It tells you all sorts of other fun details as well, such as what kind of wagebet you made, among other details. That's the one. Taxes isn't really my end of the gaming machine.
What's the biggest sucker thing you can do in vegas? I've heard that slot machines are actually terrible odds but people play them anyway... so what are the stupidest ways you can lose your money? Gambling is generally the quickest way, and slots are the worst but I think some of them are pretty cool. I'm someone who likes flashing lights and noise. Many new penny slot machines have been arriving with preset minimum bets like 25 credits but they pay out odd amounts. This usually leads to a player leaving 19 cents or so on the machine and walking away. There's people who just spend all day wandering from casino to casino looking for unclaimed spare change on the machines. It can be lucrative.
Im going to vegas soon with my girlfriend. Im only going to be there 2 nights and a day and a half. What is something romantic or exciting that most tourists dont know about? The hiking in Red Rock Canyon is great although you'd need a car. First Fridays down in the arts district is always fun. There are countless shows (stand-up comedy, theatre, etc.) off the strip. If you're unsure of what to do in a particular stretch of time and need ideas pick up a Las Vegas Weekly. They're available for free all throughout town.
Is this a local law, or something? Or does it have something to do with cost? I don't know but I suspect it's cost-related. Most table games have a 5 dollar minimum bet with a dealer to keep action moving. An undercover cop on the slots could control the pace. I think it's a waste of money either way.
Um..why wouldn't the casino cooperate and just give them house chips to bet with and then give them back? Also can you please tell me a good book to learn basic blackjack strategy (I don't like to always sit in front of a computer) No, the possibility of fraud is far too high to give away money. There really isn't such a thing as "house chips." There are non-denominational chips that are used in roulette as well as specialty chips used for tournament-style play but use of those would blow the cop's cover, obviously. Also, as long as the hookers aren't pestering every player they come across, the casinos don't really mind them so much. They'll need a bed eventually. To learn blackjack strategy (or really any casino game) I'd actually recommend sitting in front of the computer a wee bit longer and visiting wizardofodds.com. It's a great resource for gambling smart.
What's the most interesting thing that you've ever seen? That's a big question. It's all VERY interesting. You'll have to be a little more specific.
Has anyone ever made a scene over losing a large amount of money? As a dealer, you develop quite thick skin. People will call you names and curse a lot but very few actually cause much of a scene. If a scene is caused, security is usually called and they usually eject them.
I am going in a couple days with some friends. However, I don't know how to play any of the table games. Do you know any good sites/videos to learn games like poker for a beginner like me? Actually, many of the major casinos offer free classes that teach you how to play, usually in the mornings from 9-11 am. Many casino games can seem confusing or intimidating. My advice would be to take the free lesson and, if it seems fun, don't be afraid to throw a few bucks on the real thing. Just don't spend all your time in the casinos.
What's the etiquette for requesting tips? I had a lucky night at the blackjack table and the dealer was being an asshole telling me my "generosity has been outstanding" is it harder work for me to win? fuck that guy. amiright? You are right. Tips are voluntary and even if we suggest it, we do it in a way that makes you think it's your idea. Some dealers have no tact and that's sad.
Is it not considered rude to ask a guest to tip though? Yeah, it is but some still resort to it since many people don't know. Most guests that aren't accustomed to tipping will tip after realizing it's the social norm ("when in Rome") but if coerced into tipping will not be likely to later.
Are tips pooled? Do you rotate tables? I imagine the tables with larger bets get bigger tips. Tips are earned on a table-to-table basis when you deal cash games in poker. Table games (everything else requiring a dealer) generally pool tips and divide them equally on a 24-hour timeframe. All dealers rotate into all games (except for Poker, which is usually a completely separate department) at one point or another. Unless there's a generous high roller most of our money comes from the more numerous, smaller tips from low-limit games.
How does it work with high rollers? Do they carry the cash they bet with? For example, if someone's playing a $500 minimum bet table, I would assume they'd buy in for 10 to 20 bets worth of chips. Do they really just throw 5-10 grand down on the table? And then you call out "Changing ten thousand" and proceed to show every bill to the camera, turn it over, lay it down (and probably cover the entire table 2-3 times over) and then stuff all 100 $100-bills into the cash box? Or do they establish some sort of credit with the casino and just get chips based on that? They usually get a line of credit for the higher stakes players, yes but you'll occasionally get the high roller that throws up a few grand on the table in cash. I've seen more than a few people carrying 10k bundles around. There's a guy who plays poker down on Fremont Street called The Duke of Fremont Street (you don't say?!) who carries around a violin case full of cash, gold, and gold money clips stuffed with cash. Some people just like the attention.
Besides the line of credit they often have deposits at the cage where they get their chips or wired it in before they plan to enter a casino. Correct me if I'm wrong, MrVegas. You speak the truth.
Do you like Fallout? Sure do. Big fan of the games. The map of New Vegas is somewhat accurate although not to scale, obviously.
What is considered a decent tip at a table? Took a reasonable amount of money from the Cosmo a few months ago. I'm a cheap ass who didn't intend to gamble much and finished my trip playing $25 per hand blackjack. If you were my dealer, I hope my tip was appropriate. Most poker dealers will get a dollar a hand as a tip. Since poker isn't a house game that tip isn't necessarily a "thanks for the lucky hand" but more of a "thanks for moderating the poker game." If you're playing 25 dollars a hand and you are dealt a blackjack, the blackjack will pay 37.50. A common tip on that would usually be the 2.50 but we appreciate a dollar tip/bet. Anything over 5 dollars (that isn't a high-stakes game) would be considered generous.
Fuck you let's not talk vegas. So tell me. What do you think of ohio? I've never been there. The astronauts seem to hate it though.
What did you think of Nick Papageorgio? That guy from Yuma who works in software? Nice guy. My friend fitted him for a suit once. Although I heard he stole some tourist wallet once.
Have you ever seen a person or group of people successfully count cards and leave with a profit? Or are they all losers? I've seen it done to varying degrees of success, it's just not very common anymore, at least in Las Vegas. Most card counting groups operate in smaller Indian Casinos where the dealers are less likely to be trained against it. Opening a brand new casino in an area new to gaming is like ringing the dinner bell for card counters.
Do you have herpes? No. Condoms are widely available in Las Vegas and encouraged.
Is a royal flush really that rare? The odds of a video poker machine dealing you a royal flush on the deal is a little under 650,000 to 1 (happened to me once). As a poker dealer, I've dealt four in 10 years, although I've run into dealers who've gone their whole careers without dealing one.
You mentioned that you have been a dealer for 10 years. Do you see yourself doing this until you can retire or do you see yourself moving up? If you want to move up, what do you want to do eventually? I could easily see myself doing this for awhile. It's fun, easy money and casinos are the best places in the world to people watch. If I moved up I'd probably like to teach dealers. I view dealing as somewhat of an art form and I'd like to reteach the "right" way.
Is card dealing a specialty? In other words, have you never worked craps or roulette? I'm always amazed at how craps dealers can keep track of everything at a busy table. Pretty much everyone is called a dealer whether they actually "deal" anything or not. I have worked craps and roulette as well. I'm kind of bad at craps, I'm sorry to admit but roulette's fun.
What's the deal with the garish, ugly carpets you see in casinos? I think many of them are just trying to unique. When you line them up right next to each other one mega casino is pretty identical to the next so they have to out-gimmick each other in every way. Also, many casino's carpet is actually coded to indicate areas where minor are and aren't allowed. There's usually a yellow brick road of sorts to registration and elevators.
Ok, if you see someone thrusting hard, what do you do? I hope what they're thrusting into is enjoying the attention and I leave them to their business. I'm not sure what you were asking here...
Are there any films that have accurately portrayed what your business is like? Not really, in my opinion. I honestly think it could be a decent (can't believe I'm saying this) reality show but the corporations that own the casinos would never let us speak frankly.
What kind of cards do you use, bicycle?, a deck specific to the casino?, or something completely different? Most casinos use Kem or Copag cards for poker. Anyone who plays cards at home should pick some of these up. They're pretty difficult to mark, bend resistant, and they're perfect for parties. You can wash them in the sink! Blackjack and other card-based table games generally use custom cards made for the casino. I've never really paid attention to what brand they are since they're changed out so often.
My wife & I are going in a few months. (4 days/3 nights). I plan on playing/losing ~$100 on roulette and avoiding the card games. We are mostly going for shows (I'll check out those booths you mentioned) & food. One of the days I plan to send her to a spa and I want to check out some sport related gambling. Where is the best place for sports betting? Is there live betting (quick bets as in : Will Verlander strike the next batter out?) I've always thought the LVH (the old Hilton) has a really nice sports book and their odds have always been fair. The kind of live betting you're looking for is usually the kind of action you'll get from the other patrons in the sports book. The casino doesn't have time to set odds on that short of notice.
What's the deal with craps? I went on a cruise and they had a video on casino games on a continuous loop and i'd watch the craps session over and over and still not get it. i also went on a little mine-class in the casino, was still drawing blanks. is there a "Explain to me like i'm 5" with craps. Craps is confusing because the objective of the game changes so frequently and the odds are somewhat strange. Unless you want to go in-depth with game strategy I'd suggest putting your money on the pass line and throwing the dice until they tell you to stop. Not the best advice, I know, but I'm not a huge fan of craps.
I'll be in Vegas this June, what are the best night clubs? Is it best to buy tickets for the clubs and shows before hand or just go with the flow once I'm there? It's a little pricey to get in (40 dollars last time I was there, if memory serves me correctly) but the Moon nightclub at the Palms Hotel is pretty damn cool. Open air at the top of the building. I'd buy the club tickets in advance since they're usually the same price. Half-price ticket booth the day of the show you want to see.
What is the best local restaurant in Vegas? Like, residential area restaurant. The Asian food out here is great. The Chinatown District on Spring Mountain is packed with awesome food. Just pick one.
I am going to Vegas for my first time in a couple of weeks. Any tips, advice, where is the most fun to be had for the lowest price? Thanks for doing this AMA! There are lots of groupons available for Las Vegas. The pinball museum is a cheap way to burn an afternoon.
Also -is there a proper etiquette when playing with other people (eg Don't hit when a dealer has a bust card), or is it every man for himself? Proper etiquette is to shore up your hand against the dealer's without harming the other players. Hitting when the dealer is showing a bust card has started more than a few fights that I've seen. Practice basic strategy and try to make sure you're playing with people who do the same.
Swingers club? The two popular swingers' clubs are The Green Door and The Red Rooster. Ladies get in free (of course), single men pay a pretty high cover charge, and couples get in for half price. They're... interesting places to meet people.
If someone is counting cards but is also a generous tipper, do you let him get away with it a little longer? Tipping is one way of diverting attention and, yes, it does work. However, as I stated elsewhere, card counters have to adhere to certain rules and formulas regarding their wagers. They've made blackjack a business and tipping is bad for business.
What are some tips to get casino comps? Also what is your favorite buffet in Vegas? (We go to Vegas for the food and right now our Favorite is the Bellagio) Ask for them. The biggest thing is shyness. There's a lot of people gambling in a casino at any given time so if you want your play to be evaluated for comps, simply tell the dealer or floor manager. I don't eat at the buffets too often.
Do you prefer I give you straight tip or put your tip down as a wager? Alternating them isn't a bad way to go. Or you can always ask the dealer.
What's the strangest thing you've ever seen while dealing? Wilford Brimley calling me a cocksucker.
How much do you make per year? It varies, of course. It averages out to around 38-46k. I'm not a rich man but I enjoy the hell out of life.
Is it worth doing a hooker? That's up to you man. I know people who've had bad experiences with them and I've had people who've had great experiences. Not all hookers are diseased and misguided. Some are business-minded and know that they're offering a service and do so professionally.
What do you think about older smaller casinos. Have you been to the tropicana lately? I enjoy a lot of the smaller places. The Clarion is a great locals hangout and so is the Greek Isles. I was at the Trop yesterday. They recently remodeled almost the whole place. Looks great.
I heard the casinos make applicants take a hair test before getting hired...is this true? Yes, you need to pass a drug test (usually hair) to get hired at nearly all casinos. It's only the one unless you do a union job though.
So when it comes to poker, "tight is right"? I'm not sure I understand what you're asking. Could you elaborate?
Thank you for counting my cards when I'm a little slow. You're welcome. You're there to have fun, not to do simple math all day.
I hear there are hookers in Vegas. How much would it cost for the hooker and I to get naked, except for sailor hats. Then we get into a Jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, and I clip her toenails while she shaves my buttocks. 3000 dollars.
Prostitution is illegal here in Clark County. Just felt like pointing that out. I couldn't resist the Rat Race reference. Yes, prostitution is illegal, BUT you can drive about 45 minutes west to Pahrump and get a legal hooker at a brothel.
Dont a question for you, but this was the best AMA I've read in months! Funny answers, and detailed answers for the serious questions. Thanks. This is pretty fun, I've got to say. This is my first AMA and I genuinely like informing and entertaining people. It's probably why I love my job.
Yes, I'm referring to the playing style. Either you place "loose" and play a lot of hands. Or you play "tight" and play far less hands, the best hands. Poker strategy is slippery and no one credo or saying is right. If you're a beginner it's best to play a little more conservatively but you'll need to able to change gears eventually.
Unless he was controlling a single deck with both hands, never. Right answer.
10% Generous/Grateful 5% A welcome but standard tip 1% Depending on your attitude towards me, may have been an insult, or just a cheapo. Never feel like a tip is an insult. I make nearly my entire living by people tipping me one dollar at a time. "Cheapos" pay my bills.
I've personally never heard it but I wouldn't be surprised if it was a common term. Gaming slang is a lot of rhyming and alliteration. I'd much appreciate it if the whole world would please stop saying "Winner, winner Chicken Dinner." Also, the savvy prostitutes will only pick up guys from table games. Vice cops can play slots undercover to try to lure in hookers but can't play table games.
Last updated: 2012-03-28 10:18 UTC
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